Sneaky Smokes

Let me say, I am not currently a smoker.  By declaring that it helps keep me clean (and hopefully prevents anyone I may have ever bummed one from offering me one on a girls night out).  But I have been a smoker at different times in my life.  It doesn't fit me or the life I want to live now.  When I say I want to live to see my kids live healthy and happy lives, I know that does not involve smoking, period.  

When I arrived at Marymount College, an all girls Catholic college in Tarrytown, NY, I was truly an innocent country girl happy to be out of state and in a state where I was legal to drink in 1981.  The first night there, I remember a group of girls and I walking downtown and each buying a case of "ponies" (short beers) and a pack of cigarettes.  No one asked questions.  It just seemed like the thing to do.  Everyone did it.  I was sick for 3 days.  That should have put a stop to it you would think, but it didn't deter me.  There were different brands for different years and different roommates since you were probably going to bum one every once in awhile.

I got snagged early on Freshmen year by mom (Liz).  Liz swears she's never taken a puff in her life.  My dad was a pack a day Pall Mall smoker until he turned like 63.  His doctor told him (seemingly for the first time) that it wasn't healthy and he should quit and he did - cold turkey (that's amazing)!!  Anyway, my parents had come up for parents weekend.  They had just arrived, walked into the lobby and Liz walks over to the cigarette machine that has a note on it "this machine owes Lysa Burns $1.25".  Totally embarrassing.

Since then it's been bouts of "Sneaky Smokes".  I've never thought it looked cool so it became a private vice.  Growing up the oldest of 5 kids, I know I have tendencies to be a "goody 2 shoes".  Smoking is naughty.  It made me feel secretly "bad".  It was a sneaky, bad, vice.  A sort of in your face, I'm in charge of my life (yea, slowly killing myself) bad choice.

The thing about "Sneaky Smokes" is they are in no way sneaky.  They stink.  It's so hard to sneak a smoke in today's anti smoking world.  I've also done the math.  It takes about 3 minutes to smoke a cigarette and it takes 10 minutes off your life.  That kind of defeats the purpose for me of "Spring Training" etc.  I now know why I never swam in the past besides the hair (another story).   Swimming makes you painstakingly aware of any lung damage you may have done to yourself.  I don't want to cause any more damage.

I swear, I'm not being righteous.  I totally get it.  It's something that definitely pops into my head.  But I don't want to and I'm in control of my life.  I'm not going to let anything control me.  Smoking, especially "Sneaky Smokes" can control your life as can other negative vices.  No negative vices.... Join me!