My Opinion Versus Being "Judgemental"

This is a spicy topic, but I'm in the mood to delve in -

Definition for opinion:

A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
 

Definition for judgemental:

A value judgment is a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something, or of the usefulness of something, based on a personal view. As a generalization, a value judgment can refer to a judgment based upon a particular set of values or on a particular value system. ....
 

What Does Being Judgemental Mean?

Glad you asked...

Being judgmental means inclining to make decisions and judgments especially on moral of personal issues. It is an attitude characterised by making judgments about other people's conduct.

I have a lot of opinions.  It is one reason I started a blog.  I'm not afraid to say what I think - why should I be?  Being called "judgemental" is a negative thing and something that I don't think applies to me.  You might not like my opinion, I'm not asking you to - I don't need everyone to like everything I say or do.  Truly, I can appreciate that everyone has a life to live.  Things (crap) happens and we deal with it to the best of our abilities.  I truly believe that.  I don't think anyone sets out to make mistakes or be a crappy friend, parent, sibling etc; life happens.  I can always say how I would handle things, but unless faced with the same exact circumstances, I would only be guessing.  I have a lot of different friends from a lot of different stages in my life.  We have a lot of varying opinions on many subjects.  I find that interesting.  Making judgements about people's choices in life or their personal decisions means saying someone else's life is right or wrong.  That's where the trouble starts.  I think I'll leave that up to someone way more important than myself.  I believe people in general try to live their best life and in the end they are responsible for those decisions. 

It seems like people try to keep their opinions to themselves.  That's too bad.  Variety is the spice of life ... let it fly I say.  Don't be afraid to say what you think - and don't judge when someone is honest.  I'm going to try it -  join me.

Best "Mom Said"

Growing up in a big family, one of the most powerful phrases that you could use

to back you up was “mom said”.  Rarely did one balk at “mom said”. It was like

the “almighty and powerful oz has spoken”. I can scare myself just thinking of

that powerful moment in movie history and “mom said” worked the same in our

house.

Well, one “mom said” that I love to use now as a parent is “if you’re bored, you’re boring”. It is so true. It applies to me and my children often. If the thought runs thru my head, “I’m bored”. I can’t help but follow up with, “I must be boring”. And then I rack my brain for ways to try to

rectify the situation. There are so many productive things to do. But what’s wrong with doing nothing? Sometimes you just need to cut yourself a break. It’s a struggle for me to embrace doing nothing or at least not struggle with a little catholic guilt in not being productive or doing something

constructive.

So, I confess. I recently watched 8 straight hours of “Criminal Minds”. I curse my daughter for turning me on to this show. It is truly addictive. I recently watched the whole Season 1 of “Girls” on HBO in one sitting. This is what I consider doing nothing and certainly not productive in

anyway. I need to not feel guilty. Sadly, I wasn’t bored. I was entertained. Hell – it’s January and hopefully there’s a snow day in my future so my whole family can join me a guilt free day of doing nothing, and enjoy being bored together!

A Week of Saturdays

Our family Christmas was really, really nice.  As we were leaving Pennsylvania for the ride back to North Carolina, my mom commented that it was a "week of Saturdays".  That sums it up and I do realize that we are extremely lucky to feel that way.

The fall from a week of Saturdays is far.  I knew the week after would suck and boy this week did not disappoint.  I'm rallying though and that is why I'm writing this blog.   I'm trying to rally myself and hopefully if you need a little push you'll get it here.

If you haven't created your calendar of fun events - do it.  I have my cheap dollar store calendar on my counter and I'm hungrily filling it out.  I'm slowly marking people's visits here and our trips planned (starting to feel excited).  Then my daughter informs me that there's a 5 day weekend the 3rd weekend in January (and I feel a quick slide into complete despair).   Ugh.  I'm on a post Christmas austerity program and the boys are serious about their Town of Cary Basketball team which means I have no chance in hell of going anywhere.  I'm going to hunker in and try not to stand out as the most buzzed one in the room = good goal!

Here is where I want to address something serious.  Depression is real and serious and I'm not the person to diagnose or dispense real advise regarding it.  I can suffer from forms of it occasionally and sometimes you need help and real medication (not just a glass of wine).  You're the only person who knows the depth of your despair.  In my early 40's, I required a little extra medical attention.  I sought it out and it helped.  I knew when I didn't need it anymore.  You need to know your body and how your feeling and when it's more serious than what a workout, talk with a friend, or a lazy day in bed (mental health day) can fix.  Know when you need help and seek it.

What to do if just in a mid winter I hate January slump?  The best advice I can give myself is keep moving. At least if I do something constructive exercise wise, I feel better about everything else.  I went to the gym yesterday and it was definitely a mood elevator.  You realize life if going on all around you, you just need to join in.  January is a long ass month. I have to stop myself from thinking how much I despise January because it is one of my sisters birthdays:) only 4 weeks left.........join me in my plan to keep moving and not falling into a wintry slump!!  We can do it.