Sideways

 

I love the expression, "going sideways".  My friend and I use it a lot in conversation in reference to social situations when it appears that people have had too much to drink (could lead to literal definition of sideways) or when people's behavior seems odd and we're expecting something not normal to happen.   One of my sisters was interested in our obsession with the term, "going sideways".  It appears upon closer review, I have had a long love of the word Sideways.

I love the movie "Sideway's" -

I love this song "Sideways" by Citizen Cope



I love to sleep "sideways" -

I'm assuming the boys wouldn't have made it this far in my Blog so now to my favorite use of the term - "going sideways" - My top 10 signs that things are about to "go sideways" - in relevance to teenagers of course.  Not all from personal experience - some heresay included....

Boys having slumber parties - it's weird; they may be playing GTA late night, but most likely they are planning on partying somehow...

The first signs of pubic hair; applies to either sex - just sayin.....8th grade or the age of 13

Boys with back packs - check 'em; I'm pretty sure they are not keeping a spare toothbrush packed just in case they get invited to sleep over :)

Bonfires - real definition; now we can drink outside so my parents can't see and bonus extra people can stop by and my parents won't know

A house with no alarm system

Adult parties piggy backed with kid parties i.e. the adults will be drunk and not know what's going on

Offering to pay your sister to take you to a party - $10 pp

Your liquor taste like water

The purchase of a Country Music Pass for the summer -

Txts with pics of your dog and how to subdue her -

 

 

Now not all saints become sinners.............

 

 

In the words of my newest celebrity acquaintance, Paula Abdul -
 "Straight up, now tell me
Do you really wanna love me forever
Oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up, now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together
Oh, oh, oh
Or are you just havin' fun?"

 

 

 

So "going sideways" or "Straight Up" - Life is good and sideways is normal.  Join me in my love of teenagers, my never ending search to one up Nancy Drew, and to never stop appreciating these moments for what they are - teaching lessons that will hopefully create productive adults that can pay their own bills - now that is Straight Up!!

 

 

Temporary Gag Order

After just coming off a fall summit for Chief Marketing Officers that involved a lot of talk of Social Media, I've been giving the challenges of TMI (too much information) a lot of thought.  I started writing my blog because I love to share the trials and tribulations of my life with teenagers and felt like there was a sort of unspoken partnership of teenage parents out there.  The more I share the more I am sure that people love to hear my tribulations, but don't necessarily think they share in my trials.  This is where I promise you are wrong.

Twitter for teenagers is a place to hang out where parents aren't - if you haven't checked out your kids "Twitter" - you need to and stalk their friends too while you are it.  If you haven't checked it because you think they need privacy until they show you a reason to not trust them - the reason to not trust them is on their Twitter feed.  I have seen pictures of bongs, drunk girls, and inappropriate exposure of body parts.  It is almost a full time job.  I quit stalking them on Twitter recently because it is very time consuming (boys note - I could still access if I wanted to:) - .  I have seen enough to know that what's there is nothing good.  Same goes for "Vine", "Instagram", "Snapshot"  all = teenage trash.

Teenagers see the moment in front of them.  They have no concept of consequences that could cause them serious pain or future demise.  Taking away privileges, grounding etc make me feel like I'm parenting, but I have found a way to make it really hurt for them.  For every future naughty incident, the priviledge of driving (and it is a priviledge not a right) gets delayed 30 days.  This should also save me $5k in auto insurance for the unforeseeable future.

Privacy is an interesting concept these days.  I am going to respect my children's privacy at the moment and not share their current status of naughtiness.  But there is no part of their life that I am not going to insert myself.  I demanded a phone recently and asked for code to be put in so I could view what was going on immediately.  Yea, there was a little smoke that made me take this step (or as my friend and I like to equate it to as "terrorist chatter"), but again what you see will really open your eyes.  When my peeps pay for their stuff - they own it, until then - it's mine and my job to check what they are doing with the serious intention of saving them from themselves and I promise I am not being over dramatic.  What happened to the theory that you shouldn't post something that an employer would want to see - that applied to Facebook after it was out for a bit, but doesn't seem to have made the leap over in the many other ways to share these days. 

Oh boy, the joys of social media for me.  I love Facebook as do probably most women over 40.  It is such an easy way to feel connected and in touch with friends that have spanned the decades with me.  I loved my trip to LA, sharing pics of celebrities, and finally the purchase of my new bike.  If you feel like I overshared you can choice to not receive my feeds = perfect!  Join me in enjoying technology, but not being afraid to dig in and face life's truths.  It takes a village.........

Dangerous Absolutes

July was a great month of relaxation with friends and family at the beach in Delaware.  My sisters and I worked hard in advance to prepare for daily wear of bathing suits attempting new "life/nutrition" regimes started in May aka "JJ Virgin".  We had fun with the comradeship and the discussions of the pro's and con's of no gluten, no dairy, no sugar or sugar substitute, no peanuts, no soy, and no eggs.  The results were great and I definitely felt really healthy.  Dieting girl absolute - once the 3rd person says, "you look great - you've lost weight", your diet is shot to hell.  I promise.  It's a dieting hex.  Here's another absolute - it was hard, but not impossible to follow the diet on vacation if you pretend booze doesn't have sugar in it.  And then, once I dipped my toes into a lobster roll and didn't say, "hold the roll", I fell down the laundry shoot hard and fast and have not been able to get back on the "JJ regime" yet.  I need to.  I'm about to grow out of all my skinny clothes and that will suck.

Upon return to normal life, I found myself knee deep in being the "most strictest parent in the neighborhood".  Vacation felt oh so far away.  When it comes to parenting teenagers, this is where I swear, I have no "absolutes".   My neighbor whose kids are all out of high school has always warned me against being judgemental when it comes to teenage behavior.  I have taken that advice seriously.  What is going to happen next, I'm absolutely sure I don't know.  I am absolutely sure my teenagers are going to screw up.  I pray it isn't life threatening or cause bodily harm to someone else.  My senior appears saintly.  We will see.  She just may be very crafty.  My twin boys are sophomores and as my dad predicted not that long ago are much bigger and stronger than me.  Here's an absolute - they are not smarter than me.  Pools are not open after dark in any neighborhood and if you don't live there you aren't a welcome guest.  Keep trying fellas. 

As we settle into August, lots of activities keep everyone relatively busy and therefore in general out of trouble.  So looking forward to football games and other fall festivities.  So looking forward to more family time/visits, weekends with friends, and trying to capture moments and firmly plant them in my memory bank.  Just this morning, I walked around looking in purses and on numerous tables and in drawers looking for my reading glasses.  I passed myself in a mirror and realized they were firmly planted on my head.  I am absolutely freakin old and the short term memory stinks.  All I may have left is my long term memory and the ability to fake the rest.

Last night, as I hopefully slid down the laundry shoot of gluten and dairy for the last time in a while, and after a week of trying the new dipped cone at McDonalds and a taste of the new "pretzel bacon cheeseburger" from Wendy's, I decided to try an indoor s'more.  Just for the record, if you put marshmellows on a graham cracker for 30 secs in the microwave and then put Hershey bar on top w/graham cracker to hold it all together = yum and yum.  Who needs a campfire anyway!!!

Join me in enjoying life, embracing changes in regimes, appreciating life's small moments and knowing when to hold up and fold up.  JJ here I come - absolutely for today!                              

Parent Yourself

When the kids were little, I'll admit I was a little crazy about what they ate.  My twin boys went from breast feeding to pot roast and veggies (I  have eye witnesses to testify to that event).  I've labeled it "retro parenting" and think maybe a little bit of retro parenting is good.  What I mean about that is a lot of kids today have issues with food and it has more to do with control, than actually not liking what is front of them.  Our parents and generations before them would never let kids get away with eating what they eat now and actually being the one who decides.  I never gave them options.  There were a lot of tears, but I never let them win.  I probably appeared as a mean mom in public.  But the end result is my kids will eat anything.  I'm lucky, but I worked hard for it. 

We all start out with "try it", "take one bite",  "no dessert if you don't eat your dinner" and at some point we give up.  Stay with it.  Whose the boss?  That's my Ann Landers for the day.

As I started out with my JJ Virgin diet plan last Monday, I realized I needed to apply my "retro parenting" thoughts to my own self.   My thoughts on giving up dairy.  Okay, but no way can I have coffee without half and half.  Reality - coconut milk creamer is actually good and I wouldn't have known that if I wasn't willing to taste it.  I haven't had dairy (including 1/2 and 1/2 in 9 days).  Kale or spinach in a smoothie = disgusting.  That statement is wrong - you actually can't taste it (I can smell it though).   4 lbs down - I feel good and I do believe my psoriasis is subsiding.

Ah, ha moment for me.  If I apply my own parenting thoughts to myself, I can do anything or I can certainly give it a good try.  I am a huge Kelly Pickler fan and am actually inspired by her success on "Dancing with the Stars".  That girl grew up rough and did not come into "Dancing" with tons of dance recitals behind her.  She was amazing.  We can be too!  Join me in not being afraid to "taste" new foods and experiences!

Desparately Seeking Middle Ground

I was recently in a texting conversation with a friend discussing our new "diet" plan and "desparately seeking middle ground"  was my description of what I would like in regards to my "diet"  or as I like to now refer to as my "health" plan.  It seems like dieting is so extreme.  I'm either completely off the wagon and their is no food taboo (aka Fritos), I can't seem to shove enough in my mouth or I'm trying something a little cuckoo.  I don't consider what I'm doing cuckoo right now or drastic.  I'm trying to eliminate some foods to not necessarily lose weight, but more to see if I feel better.  So it's not so much as a "diet" as a new health regime.  The fact that I've heard it referred to as an "anti aging" eating plan is ensuring my dedication.

To know Lysa is to know that I have stomach issues.  I am not going to get too graphic here, but I wasn't voted "Iron Guts" in High School for nothing.  I've never taught myself to burp a whole song, but pretty sure if I was challenged I could rise to the task.  I definitely struggle thru severe gas and bloating, so much so that I physically feel sick.  I started realizing that dairy was a culprit when after a few sips of my kids milk shakes over the past few years, I didnt' feel good (total tongue in cheek when I say a few sips).  I tested eggs recently and realized they made me feel sick also. It's so interesting if you listen to your body what you learn.

Enter JJ Virgin.   You knew it was coming.  I happened to catch UNC TV's fundraising drive and she was on it.  Check out, JJ Virgins, "The Virgin Diet", Why Food Intolerance is the Real Cause of Weight Gain.  So the basic plan is to drop 7 foods, lose 7 pounds in 7 days.  The 7 foods to lose are soy, dairy, gluten, eggs, peanuts, sugar and sugar substitutes, and corn.  The plan outlined in the book is pretty specific.  So I have a group of ladies (yes, of course my sisters) and we have a group email and group text conversation where we share ideas and talk about how we feel.  This is so helpful.

So I confess, the first 2 weeks I dabbled.  My sisters were serious and experienced serious results.  I got 100% committed starting this past Monday.   You have to prepare for this health plan so you have on hand what you can eat.  I feel great.  I'm hoping to get rid of my psoriosis.  I've always heard gluten was a culprit of auto immune disorders so I'm hopeful.  I'm hopeful for less hours/days of burping and f......g,( I just can't bring myself to say or write the whole word).  My skin doesn't look bad, but if it could look better I'm game.

So yes, I'm desperately seeking middle ground in my middle age, (I'm hoping I'm still considered middle aged since I just bought Centrum (freakin) Silver = ugh). I've never taken a vitamin.  Oh, I've bought them, but threw them out unopened when they expired and I still hadn't taken one.  I'm trying to find some middle ground with my teenagers.  The boys are actually hosting a end of the year bonfire tomorrow.  Pray for rain.  Join me in finding the middle ground in pursuing a healthy life that is still inspired to try new things and never stop seeking to be better.

I've Been Around the Triangle

Today, I'm tackling the fact that there are no cool dresses for normal women (more explanation to come; stay with me) and I've been around the Triangle hence the Lisa Stansfield video - here are some of my shopping tips and they can be applied anywhere just not here in NC.

First, I'm going to be honest and confess I'm a Fashionista and TJ Maxx is my go to tried and true faithful place to shop.  I have had many a good afternoon, rain or shine mulling around every rack looking for a treasure.  I don't have the luxury of that time currently and really haven't been out shopping in awhile.  I went to TJ Maxx recently to pick up a gift for a friend and basically lost my mind and ended up hitting 4 TJ Maxx's in a 3 day period.  I know that sounds a little loopy, but I'm nothing if not a bit focused when I get started with something.  Side note - I know I'm not alone here.  I will not name names, but I have a very good friend that actually gave up TJ Maxx for lent that how serious the TJ Maxx problem can be.  This particular shopping trip turned into a complete clean out of my closet and drawers with a critical eye'd friend and came up with 2 green trash bags of giveaways.  Take away here: find a friend who has seen you and knows what looks good and who is willing to "gently" tell you what doesn't.  It turns out, I went thru some period of thinking that embroidered clothing was in.  In or not, that period has passed and I'm glad someone was strong enough to say so.  As I'm sure you are aware there are different levels of stores.  There are now TJ Maxx's with The Runway - designer sections (15 501 and Falls of Neuse TJ's) have these.  Sometimes, the clothes appear to be old but expensive because of  the label in my opinion.  Here in NC, I maintain the TJ's Beaver Creek is shopped so hard it has the best selection of new merchandise.  Now, don't take it personal if you own a few of these labels but I'm "gently" telling you to beware of Chaus, Valerie Bertinelli,  and Willi Smith.  You run the risk of looking dated in Chaus and Valerie Bertinelli.  Willi Smith is made for TJ's as is Cynthia Rowley and although the styles are current the clothes are crap quality.  Marshalls is up there with TJ's, but here in Cary we have to venture all the way to Crossroads which in my opinion is a huge deterrent.

After my 4 store TJ's and Marshallls (okay that makes 5) marathon, I had bought and returned for 3 days and had fed the beast and now the shopping beast was looking for more.  I was still empty handed and was laser focused on finding a cute, throw on, dress up or dress down dress.  Decided to forgo cocktails the other night and venture into mall land and see what Dillards, Macy's and Belk had going on.  Shoot me now.  Dillards has minimum racks which I liked, but they consider their own brand of Antonio Melani to be their top designer - no freakin way is that true.  Belk is packed to the roof tops.  I don't know how you can even push the clothes on the racks to see what is there.  Probably best place for dress as they have literally thousands as long as you don't care that 100 people all living in this small town have the same one.  On to Macy's - still love Inc. but have promised to take a sabbatical from anything sparkle or rhinestone which leaves me limited options here.  Besides Inc. there was just a bunch of the same stuff they had everywhere else.  Again, came home with a bag of hopefuls all to be returned.

I lied when I said Kohl's could be an answer.  They keep giving it a good college try with all their new private label designers but when you try on it all looks ridiculous.  I have now had two trips there with a friend with a discerning eye and my best fashion interest at heart and all we have ended up with was a good laugh at each other in the dressing room.  Sorry for the previous wrong information. 

Say yes to boutique shopping if you only need one special thing.  I have had success at Scout and Molly's locally, but usually only go there when I have been the thankful recipient of a gift card.  I had a blissful hour at Cameron Village recently and think that may be the ticket if I hit the lottery or somehow come into an inheritance. 

Today, I anxiously await my online shopping shipment of dresses from Amazon.com.  Nothing sexy, fun, or rewarding about shopping this way but success at this point would be exceptional.

So net, net, net - someone please hear us normal ladies.  We need dresses that don't cost over $100, that don't show our hiney's, have normal arm holes, and don't have animal prints.   I don't think that is asking too much.  Join me in some future successful shopping which also means a clean out of what you already own.  Good news for me, the shopping beast has thankfully gone back to sleep. 

More Regular Girl Beauty

Okay, steamy weather is almost here at that means if you have frizzy hair you need to try keratin.  I swear it has changed my life.  I know my mom loves my curly hair.  I know all you naturally straight girls long for a little curl.  A little curl would be one thing, but my hair is somewhat curly in odd places, somewhat wavy in some places and frizzy all over.  I can make it work with no humidity, but once humidity hits things get out of control.  Think Monica on Friends when they went to the islands....

My answer = keratin.  One of the first people to do it in Cary and I consider an expert is https://www.facebook.com/HairByJacquieSolaSalon?hc_location=timeline ; Jacquie Amante - 347-782-1127.  Don't delay, call today!!

Nails, nails, nails - I move around and get mani/pedi's pretty much anywhere that's convenient to where I am when I suddenly have spare time.  I would guess I'm not alone.  Recently, I was getting my hair colored.  The longer I leave my hair color on the better.  I multi tasked and gave Judy at Solas Salon (Kildaire Farm Rd) a try.  I was not disappointed.  Crazy - she's cheaper than anywhere else I've been and she excels in massage.  Seriously - excels!!  Worth the drive and seems readily available with short notice - Judy Ming - 347-835-8135

Ladies, join me in getting ready for summer and sandals!!  Don't be caught with your pants down or shoes off - I have no idea where I was going with that........and yes, NK the nail info is for you!!

 

Real Girl Beauty Review

I'll admit it.  I'm a beauty product junkie.  I'm an easy sale, but at this point I'm very selective with what I actually need which in reality is probably nothing.  But the thrill of the purchase of a great beauty product is still exhilarating.

I love InStyle's Best Beauty Products issue.  There are a lot of products that are new and fun to try, there are some that win year after year and should and I'm sure there are beauty editors that buy their product's spot on the top beauty product list. 

Now, I do realize that this is not the issue you would have seen on our new stands in America, but shout out to Jennifer Aniston  who is my personal beauty icon.  I swear she's right  - Giorgio Armani foundation is the best, Nars Orgasm blush and Laguna Beach bronzer are the most perfect blush/bronzer duo known to man and new product on the list that supposedly she swears by is YSL Lip Gloss Golden #2.  It does seem extra special and it should be for $30.

This was my list of beauty must tries followed by my personal review of the product -

-Mac eye pencil in smoulder and Mac lip pencil in spice = terrible, too hard, actually hurt to put on = being returned.  I actually like Mally eye pencils and gel liner like Cavier by Smashbox.

- Big winner - stand out - thinking about ordering a case of it product = St Tropez Gradual Tan moisturizing lotion (Sephora or Ulta).  OMG, it's fantastic.  It smells seriously divine and that is something I've never said about a self tanner.  I can't wait to put it on again tomorrow.  And I stand by the golden rule, "tan fat looks better than pale fat".

- Christian Dior - 5 Colouer Eye Shadows - yes, they are pricey but they are so perfect (Jennifer swears by them too!)

Well, I'm all made up with no where to go today, so I better get back to work so I can afford my beauty habit.  Join me in not being afraid to try something new, even if it is just a temporary fix.

Remembering 50

My parents agree on the story of my arrival.  They mistakenly went in the back door of the hospital, the elevator was broken and my dad said, "oh well, you can do it Liz" and they walked up a few flights of stairs.  They called my dad when I arrived and this is where things go sideways.  My mom says he went back to bed and came later in the day.  My dad says he came right over.  This is a common man versus woman memory if you ask me.

My dad says my arrival meant that his television room got changed into a nursery.  My mom remembers taking me for walks always with a white bonnet and polished shoes.  I was an easy going child and trembled at just the threat, "assume the position", meaning bend over for a spanking.   They said that I always excelled in writing, tended to jump to conclusions, was not interested in domestic duties including cooking, and I was always bossy.

My name is really Elisabeth.  My mom wanted to call me Lisa but it wasn't a saints name.  In elementary school, I was a little confused briefly between 1's and I's, so I referred to myself as L1sa.  In middle school, I joined the girls changing y's to i's and vice versa and settled on Lysa. 

I'm working on a new bucket list now that I have entered into a different decade of my life.  Having a great 50th birthday is one I guess I can check off.  I am very appreciative of my family and friends and life.  Join me in living a life of no regrets.  I know it's a cheesy saying, but just seems to fit my mood today.

Be Careful What You Wish For....

Back in the day when Title 9 became law, my mom was responsible for making my high school add a girls sport because there wasn't as many girls' sports as boys sports.  My high school added girls lacrosse in 1980, so I got to play for 2 years and loved it (*if you make it to the end of this blog, I have a funny Burns' girl story).

Here's a little clip on Title 9 -
"Title IX, a groundbreaking statute intended to end sex discrimination in education, became the law of the land on June 23, 1972. While most famous for its requirement that schools provide girls with equal athletic opportunities, the law applies to all educational programs that receive federal funding, and to all aspects of a school's educational system. Title IX benefits both boys and girls and is the linchpin of 40 years of efforts to promote and establish gender equity in schools."

I definitely agree that we should have all equal number of opportunities to play, but should we get to play everything?  The following is today's story about a girl that won the state wrestling championship in the 106 lb weight class - http://entertainment.msn.com/videopreview/?channelindex=4&from=en-us_msnhpvidmod&form=msnrll#/video/c23783d4-af96-483e-a24a-c77233b51019 - I personally think the newscaster was a little degrading when he opens with notice how she is still girlie as she fluffs her hair and adjusts her outfit = ugh, 5 steps forward 20 steps back.

One of my 15 year old sons recently completed his first year of wrestling.  One of his early matches was against a girl.  My husband and I held our breath the whole time.  If you don't have a boy, you don't know how fragile their 15 year old ego is.......it was uncomfortable.  You teach your boys to not be violent towards women and then they are faced with them in the wrestling ring?  There was inappropriate groping at the very least.  If he had lost, I can't imagine the torture he would have had to endure from his peers. 

So girls get to wrestle because there isn't wrestling for girls.  Okay, so there's no volleyball for boys.  Let's send out some 6'4 boys who didn't make the basketball team and see how the girls volleyball team likes it.........it goes both ways.  There have been some instances of this, but not wide spread enough for it to be news worthy or I should say, "change policy" worthy.  All it will take is one coach to put together a dream team with a few "ringers".  They go on to beat everyone, win a championship and then what is our answer.  I don't think equal is a grey area.  Equal is black and white.

*Being the older, bossier and desperate for awards Burns sister, I highly suggested that the winner of the first year's lacrosse team's MVP should obviously be a senior.  Join me in thanking everyone for  agreeing to that philosophy, so I could eek out the award from my speedy very athletic younger sister. 

Crate Training - It's not just for puppies!

I'm a huge believer in crate training a dog. Daisy (our dog) is such a better behaved family pet now that she has her own safe zone. I've pondered this concept for awhile and have decided the same concept can be/should be used for teenagers.

"Why crate train your puppy?"

"Crate training your dog provides them with a profound sense of security. Dogs naturally live in dens. Dens protect them from danger, keep them warm and dry, and help them to keep their young safe and protected."

When the kids were little, I was all about outside playtime. It made them tired and happy and they slept well. We all know that a tired puppy is a good puppy.  When they were in middle school, I still thought they needed to be outside, but I slowly realized that was a sticky predicament. Outside now meant parks with hordes of young teenagers hanging out unsupervised by adults. I still thought they were in general safe, but started to question the common sense of this "playtime". Now that they are in high school, I'm positive that the park is now not a "safe zone". Playing endless hours of C O D (Call of Duty) is the safe zone. I never thought I was going to fully support hours of video games, but it's like crate training. They're happy, warm, safe and dry and their mother has them within ear/eye shot.

"Crate Training Helps Eliminate Destructive Behavior"

"While some breeds are definitely more nervous, and therefore potentially destructive, than others, a crate offers a sense of security for your dog. Instead of acting out when they feel anxious they can retreat to their ‘den’ and seek calm."

This makes so much sense. Relate above paragraph to your teenager and I don't know about you but it was an ah ha moment for me. The thing about being a "crazy parent" (that's what my boys think of me and my suspicions) is they can blame everything on their mom being crazy, neurotic etc. I recently had a psychiatrist friend tell me yes, I was right to drug test my kids. Not because it necessarily was going to come back positive, but it gave them an out to "say no to drugs" i.e. dudes, "I can't smoke that, my mom's crazy".

What kind of crate is best? Your home or someone that thinks the same way you do. Confirm that they are home.

Crate training Dogs offers enormous benefits. It provides them a sense of security and stability and it makes the house training process significantly easier. Who doesn’t want fewer accidents? Of course you do. Dog Crate Training is a sure bet if you want to get the best results.

Well said oh mighty dog trainer - well said. Join me in providing a safe zone........ throw a little candy around, some occasional soda, pizza, don't worry about how many extras there are, don't worry about the mess, set the alarm and let the fun begin.

My Opinion Versus Being "Judgemental"

This is a spicy topic, but I'm in the mood to delve in -

Definition for opinion:

A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
 

Definition for judgemental:

A value judgment is a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something, or of the usefulness of something, based on a personal view. As a generalization, a value judgment can refer to a judgment based upon a particular set of values or on a particular value system. ....
 

What Does Being Judgemental Mean?

Glad you asked...

Being judgmental means inclining to make decisions and judgments especially on moral of personal issues. It is an attitude characterised by making judgments about other people's conduct.

I have a lot of opinions.  It is one reason I started a blog.  I'm not afraid to say what I think - why should I be?  Being called "judgemental" is a negative thing and something that I don't think applies to me.  You might not like my opinion, I'm not asking you to - I don't need everyone to like everything I say or do.  Truly, I can appreciate that everyone has a life to live.  Things (crap) happens and we deal with it to the best of our abilities.  I truly believe that.  I don't think anyone sets out to make mistakes or be a crappy friend, parent, sibling etc; life happens.  I can always say how I would handle things, but unless faced with the same exact circumstances, I would only be guessing.  I have a lot of different friends from a lot of different stages in my life.  We have a lot of varying opinions on many subjects.  I find that interesting.  Making judgements about people's choices in life or their personal decisions means saying someone else's life is right or wrong.  That's where the trouble starts.  I think I'll leave that up to someone way more important than myself.  I believe people in general try to live their best life and in the end they are responsible for those decisions. 

It seems like people try to keep their opinions to themselves.  That's too bad.  Variety is the spice of life ... let it fly I say.  Don't be afraid to say what you think - and don't judge when someone is honest.  I'm going to try it -  join me.

Best "Mom Said"

Growing up in a big family, one of the most powerful phrases that you could use

to back you up was “mom said”.  Rarely did one balk at “mom said”. It was like

the “almighty and powerful oz has spoken”. I can scare myself just thinking of

that powerful moment in movie history and “mom said” worked the same in our

house.

Well, one “mom said” that I love to use now as a parent is “if you’re bored, you’re boring”. It is so true. It applies to me and my children often. If the thought runs thru my head, “I’m bored”. I can’t help but follow up with, “I must be boring”. And then I rack my brain for ways to try to

rectify the situation. There are so many productive things to do. But what’s wrong with doing nothing? Sometimes you just need to cut yourself a break. It’s a struggle for me to embrace doing nothing or at least not struggle with a little catholic guilt in not being productive or doing something

constructive.

So, I confess. I recently watched 8 straight hours of “Criminal Minds”. I curse my daughter for turning me on to this show. It is truly addictive. I recently watched the whole Season 1 of “Girls” on HBO in one sitting. This is what I consider doing nothing and certainly not productive in

anyway. I need to not feel guilty. Sadly, I wasn’t bored. I was entertained. Hell – it’s January and hopefully there’s a snow day in my future so my whole family can join me a guilt free day of doing nothing, and enjoy being bored together!

A Week of Saturdays

Our family Christmas was really, really nice.  As we were leaving Pennsylvania for the ride back to North Carolina, my mom commented that it was a "week of Saturdays".  That sums it up and I do realize that we are extremely lucky to feel that way.

The fall from a week of Saturdays is far.  I knew the week after would suck and boy this week did not disappoint.  I'm rallying though and that is why I'm writing this blog.   I'm trying to rally myself and hopefully if you need a little push you'll get it here.

If you haven't created your calendar of fun events - do it.  I have my cheap dollar store calendar on my counter and I'm hungrily filling it out.  I'm slowly marking people's visits here and our trips planned (starting to feel excited).  Then my daughter informs me that there's a 5 day weekend the 3rd weekend in January (and I feel a quick slide into complete despair).   Ugh.  I'm on a post Christmas austerity program and the boys are serious about their Town of Cary Basketball team which means I have no chance in hell of going anywhere.  I'm going to hunker in and try not to stand out as the most buzzed one in the room = good goal!

Here is where I want to address something serious.  Depression is real and serious and I'm not the person to diagnose or dispense real advise regarding it.  I can suffer from forms of it occasionally and sometimes you need help and real medication (not just a glass of wine).  You're the only person who knows the depth of your despair.  In my early 40's, I required a little extra medical attention.  I sought it out and it helped.  I knew when I didn't need it anymore.  You need to know your body and how your feeling and when it's more serious than what a workout, talk with a friend, or a lazy day in bed (mental health day) can fix.  Know when you need help and seek it.

What to do if just in a mid winter I hate January slump?  The best advice I can give myself is keep moving. At least if I do something constructive exercise wise, I feel better about everything else.  I went to the gym yesterday and it was definitely a mood elevator.  You realize life if going on all around you, you just need to join in.  January is a long ass month. I have to stop myself from thinking how much I despise January because it is one of my sisters birthdays:) only 4 weeks left.........join me in my plan to keep moving and not falling into a wintry slump!!  We can do it.