What To Tell My Sons

First, you will never find anyone like your mom - but if you are lucky you will come close.

Secondly, I get rights of first refusal. 

Thirdly, you cannot live here after the age of 25; okay 30, but that is my final offer.

I love and adore you, but you confound me.  My want for you is to be successful, happy, healthy adults.  That's all I ever wanted - it's an unwavering want filled with unconditional love that I know you are going to test.

Join me in having simple wants........

Editors Note - Although, I struggle to get the boys to read anything of educational value - someone has indeed clued them into my blog.  I lost a $5 bet to one yesterday that I did not specifically mention his name. 

So Gentlemen,

Since you're reading and your friends are reading and I did tweet this - here goes.........

If you both don't get a B or better on your big World History test today there is NO STATE FAIR this weekend.  Enjoy your Wednesday fellas.

It's Ratings Time B#$%^&*

Love this video that made a huge splash recently on Facebook etc.  I don't know of a tennis lady that doesn't get a chuckle out of it.

But as we all know it's not all fun and games out on the courts or behind the scenes.  There's a little pain behind the humor.  Our club lets the members/ladies put together teams.  Some teams vote players in (soriety style), most teams are captain's choice.  Other clubs/tennis facilities put teams together for the players.  It's a lose/lose situation for the professionals.   Let's be honest, they make $ from being on every one's good side.    I beg for a solution to the madness.  Nothing good comes from middle aged recreational athletes making judgement calls about others peoples abilities.

So ratings based on your Spring USTA tennis performance come out here in NC in mid November. Literally, by mid September people are jockeying for position, "making new tennis friends", creating firestorms to see what shakes out etc. based on what they think is going to happen.  If  you don't know already, there's some boot leg way to find out what your early rating is by going in to USTA through an Atlanta Team link because they have access to "early ratings".  Now, these are not for sure ratings just early indicators. 

The usual definition of a "friend" is one whom one knows, likes and trusts.  I maintain this rarely exists on the tennis court.  I rarely play tennis for fun.  I need the competition to make it fun for me.  You have to find a group that thinks the same as you.   Losing is never fun.  Losing with friends is no different.  So I never understand the "we want to have a team of friends, that just wants to have fun together".   USTA leagues are not for fun.  They are serious competition.  If you want to play tennis for fun - call your friends or make sure you join other leagues that are supposed to be "social tennis". 

My almost 75 year old mom recently was asked to not return to her paid round robin court time at her club because according to the b%^&*& in charge, "she wasn't up to their standard of play". Really? So a lady with 2 knee replacements awaiting hip replacement surgery can't show up to play for fun? Nice - ladies, nice.  I don't want to be one of those ladies.

My own words of tennis wisdom that I love to share, "if you don't get picked for a team maybe it's because the other players don't think you are as good as you think you are".............

Which brings me to my solution.  Join me in being confident in your abilities and if you're not then maybe you need a lesson, more practice, or more play time.  Be comfortable being a free agent.  It's like that old game where you line up 2 rows of people and you see who is comfortable being picked.  I was always the picker.  It my younger years, I would never have been comfortable on the sidelines waiting to be picked.  I've changed.  I've matured.  I'm comfortable that I'll get picked.  Wait till ratings come out to form teams.  People will move down and some will move up.  Be patient - wait to be picked.  It's humbling - but worth it.  And if patience isn't your strong suit, be a captain and do the picking.  It's that easy.

Side note - USTA Fall Combo sucks.  Am I saying this because I"ve gotten my a$% kicked?  Absolutely - but......the USTA created this type of league play to foster relationships between levels and build a teaching sort of environment.  This is not reality folks.  Combo is only fun if you are under rated.   Trust me - I know - I've been there.

Thank you Dr. Obvious!

My Philly marathon is a little over 6 weeks away.  I've been training for 8 weeks and I've had a few setbacks.  There was Labor Day weekend and too many margaritas (that was fun), there was the Achilles tendinitis, and then there was a little trip to the ER for  back spasms that literally brought me to my knees.  You may think I'm a little cracked, but I'm going to keep going.

I was at my sons football game a week ago.  One of my friends who is a big workout guy says, you know everything you do is on a hard service - road running - tennis.  You should probably do more cross training, chore work and stretching.

Well, thank you Dr. Obvious!  You are correct.  I have a little workout at the gym that I love that mostly involves upper body and chore.  I've just spent a few weeks in PT for my Achilles and they emphatically said if you don't stretch more you are going to be in serious trouble.

I'm heeding all advice. I was neglecting to do the other physical things I need to do to make running possible.  Marathon training, gym time and tennis take a lot of time and although it may appear that I have endless hours to do nothing (like blogging) it's not true; I'm just a very good multi tasker.  So sorry tennis buddies, but this alpha female at the moment prefers 2 hours on the road with head phones to a tennis match.  Physically, it's too much to do both.  I'm on a tennis hiatus.  Not permanent - watch out for me in the spring.  I'm only doing 1/2's after November I promise. 

Join Me in not neglecting the most important parts of being well rounded and fit - it can't just be one thing  - (even tennis)!

What To Tell My Daughter

In the words of a very dear friend's mother, "Marriage is not reform school.  What you see is what you get".  Oh yes, wise one... those are words to pass on....

Now, don't get me wrong.  I want my daughter to experience great love, great romance, great passion and I can't say much more cause she actually enjoys snooping on my blog.  She has an adorable boyfriend and they seem to enjoy a great friendship.  See this is where adults need a secret venue to share more thoughts that can't be read by their kids; similar to the reason that kids are no longer on Facebook (due to moms like me) and all have Twitter accounts and have made secret pacts to not let parents in.  Whatever........!!!!  Listen Zuckerman - the USTA has figured out a way to do 2 adult leagues - 18 and up and 40 and up - surely you can figure out the same for Facebook?!

What I am happy to share is this.........Be confident.  Be sure of what you need to make you happy.  Don't make any compromises on your expectations ever when making any romantic commitment.   Be selfish and single as longggggggggg as you can.  Never give up a way to be independent financially (I'm not trying to beat a dead horse. but it deserves another mention). 

Marriage may become only necessary as a way to legitimize your family.  Take Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  They said they weren't going to marry unless it was legal for everyone.  Now, there's rumors they will marry.  The only reason I see this happening is because they are getting a lot of pressure from their children.  Children are the reason to marry and stay married.  I can't think of another critical reason at the moment, but I'll keep working on it.

This brings me to the stay at home mom vs working mom dilemma.  This is easy.  If  the smell of brownies in the oven don't give him a hard on, I strongly suggest keeping your day job.  If you meet a Renaissance man who adores the idea of June Cleaver - good for you.  But I think I've given you fair warning of the pitfalls of this choice.

Remember, mommy is always here for you.  Please don't ever go too far and leave me alone with all these boys - join me in my quest for you to be unencumbered for a very long time!