A Little Notebook

Middle aged memory loss; I wish I could remember when it even started.  Hilarious to be in your car, start out driving somewhere and for a second at the first light not remember where you were headed.  Funny to be in the kitchen and head to the pantry and not know what you went there for....or I'll call someone to discuss something and then have no idea what it was (and it felt important at the time).  I prefer to think that I have so much going on in my head that it's not memory loss but brain overload; yea; let's go with that theory.

Almost really got myself into trouble last week when I temporarily forgot about the 7:45p yoga class (that I had planned and talked about all day) and fell into a little happy hour; nothing like a little buzzed yoga to end  the day; whoops!

This week I hope to get a little more current with technology and start using my phone's calendar.  I think I can even set it up to beep when I'm supposed to be somewhere, but for now I rely on the "little notebook" on my desk.  When my kids tell me they need something; my standard line is "write it down; you know mommy isn't going to remember unless you write it down".  The tricky part is to remember to take the list with you. 

I'm sure you can all appreciate the need for a "little notebook".  Journaling food, exercise, and just thoughts on the day can be very helpful.  Writing something down is the same as telling someone; it keeps you honest.  So for "Spring Training"; if you're having trouble getting started; use a "little notebook".  I already have a grocery list started; join me.

"Sunday Morning"

A long time ago, I used to find  the Sunday morning news show cathartic; the background rainbow; the voices; it all signalled the end of another week; a time for review.  Now reviewing the news of the week for me is a little overwhelming and if you listen/watch the news shows your take away could be that the world is basically coming to an end.  I'm not saying you don't need to know what's going on in the world; it's empowering to be informed; just don't lose yourself in it.  So for a few minutes, I'm going to review my week and hope to inspire myself and others with personal change and growth that is making me a better person and possibly inspiring others to do the same.

I got my gently used, (if you want to call 2 Ironman's gently used) road bike.  It's awesome!  Took it for tune up; needed tires; brake pads; should be ready early this week.  I'm going to go for regular pedals so I don't kill myself on first few trips out.  I'm totally getting a cute bike outfit; appropriate athletic fashion is definitely part of  the fun.  My last official bike ride was the "Hotter than Hell Hundred" in Wichita Falls, TX in 1992; so I may need a little practice; psyched!!

Mustered up the energy to do late night yoga with daughter and her friends; special times that I'll never forget.  Had some great runs; found new swim buddy; and debuted new doubles partnership.  Great active week!

One of my sisters is here this weekend ( I have 3 total).  I'm so lucky; trust me on this I know.  We've had a blast.  We suffered through my car breaking down yesterday together.  It was hilarious.  It stalled all over the way to Crabtree Mall (Raleigh) and back to Cary.  Somehow we got it to Pitstop (car repair) without a tow and can pick it up today at 12p.  We're hiking later today with the teenagers.  I want to share this beautiful day encouraging my daughter and her friends that there are fun things to do outside.  She's going to give me a lot of dirty looks that I'm totally going to ignore.

Enjoyed a delicious bottle of wine with sister and friends last night.  Totally rocked my jeans without feeling like I was breaking out of  the side seams.  All in all; it was a 5 Star week.  I love Mondays - join me.

Smile With Your Eyes

This week, I made two new friends in random places and it added a lot a value to a normal day; in an average week.  Normally, I may be too busy or too involved in what is going on in my life to look up, look around and notice someone else in the same room and smile; really smile; like I wouldn't mind engaging in small talk.  It's amazing how easy it is to do and how gratifying it turned out.

As a newlywed, I moved from Pennsylvania to Texas.  The whole cold Yankee versus sweet southern thing is a little overdone I know; but truly my first experiences in Texas with strangers smiling and engaging in conversation was a little frightening at first.  I kept thinking to myself, "why are they being so nice"?  "What do they want from me"?  Then I got it.  They were just being nice, engaging and looking for conversation; nothing more; nothing less.

Now, on an airplane I struggle with engaging in conversation with the person sitting next to me.  Why?  Because I'm a total narcoleptic.  I know that as soon as the engine of the plane kicks in, I can't hold my eyes open.  It's a genetic gift.  Most of my family members are like this.  I think it's also a remnant from long rides in a station wagon with 7 people.  My mom would say, "if you sleep we'll get there much faster"; and somehow we taught ourselves that although the trip was never going to go faster (unless my dad punched the gas) it was easier and more pleasant to pass the time sleeping; than fighting or trying to figure out who passed the gas.

So, I mean it.  I felt so empowered by looking around and making small talk with what turned out to be two interesting ladies.  In the the Orthodontist office, there was the lady originally from New Orleans with a passion for Ettoufe and Beignets; and then at the pool there was the lady (who doesn't know she narrowly escaped me asking her to help me pull my tank down in the back; you know how hard it is to redress when you're a little wet from the pool?) who was in her early 60's and befuddled by the new back fat that her body was producing because she couldn't run anymore; had starting walking; and now was swimming to try to deal with the excess weight; but she was in the game to win it you could just tell;  I was inspired.

I might not feel like it every second of every day, but I'm going to try, really try, to smile all the way to my eyes; then I'm going to look around and see what happens; join me!

Conviction

My parents are in their 70's.  I love them and I know they love me.  We enjoy getting together and sharing laughs over cocktails, dinner and always dessert.  They've raised 5 children.  They are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.  They have strong opinions about a range of subjects and aren't afraid to share those opinions regardless of whether they think everyone in the room is going to agree with them.  They have "conviction" in their religious beliefs, in their political beliefs, and in their love for each other.  I respect and admire their conviction.

Their passion for their beliefs is amazing.  I don't think the word "conviction" is used much today.  I started really thinking about it as I teased them about their never wavering taste in music/radio.  Why is it that starting when I can remember (70's probably) they thought that current music was loud, annoying and just a bunch of screaming with nonsensical words?   Now sometimes they are right on; but in other respects it may be generational and I find it interesting.  They never embraced the Beatles, Elvis or really anything after the late 50's except "Talk Radio" which I think has something to do with the fact that they grew up with more radio than TV and find it comforting.

Now with 5 kids you're going to have to deal with a lot of different convictions.  This is where they have definitely softened.  They are not judgemental in regards to our convictions.  Why?  I think they've learned  that they love our differences and at this stage of the game they are probably not going to change our minds about certain subjects.  When we're together it's about sharing time and laughs not about convincing each other we're right about a certain subject. 

So this morning, I put two feet on the floor and am thinking about what my convictions are -  I'm going to make today's belief simple; I'm going to go for an awesome run and I encourage you to join me!

PS:  To my mom and dad; I didn't write this for you because you said you liked my blog; just something I think about; love you.

Say Yes

When my alarm goes off during the week my initial thought is always, "hell no"; but once my feet hit the floor I'm happy to get going.  I am finding that as the day progresses the more things I say "yes" to the better the day turns out.  So in my effort to make every day a 5 Star day, I am really going to make an effort to initially think yes and say yes more often.

Yesterday was a really good example.  I said yes to playing tennis even though it was going to be cold.  I hate cold tennis and it can kind of hurt (cold ball hitting cold racket hurts your arm for you non tennis players out there).  But I said yes because sometimes I get too caught up in doing what I want to do solo and miss out on time with women who really play a positive role in my life.  Tennis girls mostly say yes as in "do you want to play tennis?"; stupid question, that would be "hell yes"!  Lots of good conversations led to what we were doing for the rest of the day.  I threw out there did anyone want to go swim later.  One consistent "yes" person said sure.  Bummer the pool was closed because the pump was broken we were informed by a friend and neighbor on the outside of the community center.  So our friend says, "I guess I'll just go for a ride".  I say, "that sounds awesome but I don't have a bike yet" (was working on it).   And then he says, " I have an extra you can have"; seriously; how did that just happen to me.  I've been dying to get a bike to start riding, another fun exercise thing I can say "yes" too; and here it is; in one life changing second.  Thank you again my friend and one of my Triathlon supporters.

Join me on making a conscious effort to say "yes" today; "yes" is so much more fun than "no"!

"It's What's For Dinner"

I am the oldest of five children.  If you haven't picked up on it already; I'm a little bossy.  I may be a little bit of a control freak (have definitely softened with age and twin boys).  I like to be Queen of my castle; mainly my kitchen.  When it comes to raising kids, it's not often that you feel like a Queen, but I can make sure they know that I am the boss.

Love the picture of me when I was probably around 3 years old, asleep in a white high chair with succotash spread all over the tray.  Remember succotash; Lima beans, peas, and corn all mixed together?  To this day, I still don't like Lima beans.  That night was a stand off.  One of many, I'm know my mom suffered through with 5 kids.  She was (and still is) definitely Queen of her castle.  She won that night; I'm sure I saw that succotash for breakfast.

I love hearing other people's memories of me feeding my kids when they were babies.  One friend remembers seeing us at the baby pool; the three of them lined up on towels, and me feeding them assembly line style with jars and jars of food.  I have to say feeding kids at the pool or ocean totally rocks because you can just throw them in the water for clean up.  Another friend remembers us at Pullen Park; the three of them in the triple stroller with their little hungry mouths open and me tossing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the air.  They would kind of catch a piece like a seagull.  They wouldn't have said no to anything at this point; I think this is what is referred to as competitive eating.

Then it got tricky.  They started baulking me and tried to say no to eating random foods.  No way, no how was this going to fly in my castle.  I took a stand and I won (kind of like a 3rd set tiebreaker).  Listen, it wasn't pretty.  There were plenty of fights, plenty of tears (theirs and mine), and plenty of dinners saved for breakfast (this totally works).  At times, I'm sure to an outsider I looked like a crazy woman, but food is my passion and they were going to eat what I was serving or go hungry, period, the end.

Here's the deal breaker -  If your husband isn't in compliance with eating whatever you serve, you're most likely finished with the kids, sorry.  I'm lucky here; my husband eats whatever I make.  He might make a reference to something being too spicy; but he knows to not take that conversation any further.  Kids are so freaking smart even as babies; they will pick up on any and all dissension in the kitchen and use it to their advantage. If Daddy's not eating it neither are they.  I know this is a broad sweeping generalization, but more than likely true.   You can still try and good luck.

So moms with babies or about to have babies listen up; it happens at their first meal and you have to be ready for it.  They can sniff indecision; you have to be firm.  You have to take a stand immediately.  One slip up and they have you...they are the boss of you; it's your choice; it's a fork in the road.  Let them win and you could be serving up chicken nuggets for the next 20 years; think about it.

It's not too late to institute the rule; "It's What's For Dinner"; similar to "because I said so" or "mom said".  These statements are oldies but goodies.  That's it; it's so simple.  I believe in them.  You'll feel so empowered and free and that is a rare feeling as a mom.  You're the boss.  You're the Queen of your castle.  Join me...

Baby Steps and Boob Sizes

Yesterday was a pretty good "Spring Training" day.  Did fall into a little Happy Hour celebration for Francine's Birthday, but managed to scoop out two bowls of ice cream without thinking that I totally deserved a bowl myself.  The Caramel Delight was Edy's 1/2 fat, so I could have easily rationalized it; okay I had 2 bites, but I swear that was it!

So I may be an anomaly; but does anyone else's boobs grow when they gain weight?   Now it takes more than 10lbs, but around plus 15, bam; the girls are back.  I know, I've had friends say wah, wah; "you gain your weight in your boobs, so sad for you."  Yea, but the radical change is amazingly weird.  Most of my life I was a 36DD.  Currently, I am a 32C and comfortable.  When I was breastfeeding the boys I was a 40FFF; seriously... I tried recently to buy a bra in Victoria Secret when shopping with my daughter.  Now at Vicky's (if I was cool and 20 something this is what I would call it), I would have to revert back to a much larger size to fit the chicken wings into the bra cup that appear under my arm pits.  These bras are not meant for a more mature womanly body; in fact I think that the young girls that work there must derive some sick pleasure from watching me (a cougar wanna be) start at my bra size (according to the professional Nordstrom bra measuring lady) and quickly work up a sweat trying to find a bra that fits and looks remotely flattering before walking out the door because it all seemed so futile.  I didn't even realize how low they were hanging until I went for a spray tan for a special occasion last summer.  The girl sprayed me as I stood naked except for my thong.  Later, I struggled to figure out what the white lines were across my stomach.  Holy shit; it was my boob marks from the spray tan (news flash; you have to hold them up when getting sprayed).  Now, I don't mind being self deprecating about certain subjects like my boobs; but I don't need any help from the peanut gallery.  So when the person who sees me naked chimes in with "they belong on the cover of National Geographic", I definitely think about a little help from plastic surgery.  I love fake boobs.  They're so pretty.  They're perfect.  They're high.  I'm so envious.  I'm not ruling it out.

Okay, I'm still in my yoga pants.  Jeans still give me shooting gas pains when trying to eat.  I think I'll be good by next week to go back to pants with zippers....join me.

The Brutal Truth

So if you're joining me on my Spring Training (dropping a few lbs) today; here is the bad news; you have got to get on the scale.  Weight Watchers has worked for me in the past because you can't be in denial.  The scale deals only in black and white.  It wasn't pretty this morning; but I did it and now I know where I stand.  I'm only going to be specific in ranges because the reality is exactly what I weigh is not important; it is what's healthy and comfortable for me; and I know what that number is....

I'm 5'6 and have been relatively active my whole life.  I've weighed anywhere from 135 to 168lbs.  I weighed 130 once after a 10 mile run completely dehydrated and naked.  I don't count that as real.  I've never been considered heavy.  When I came home from my all girls Catholic college freshmen year, I could only fit into sweats at a very plump 168lbs.  My parents nicely said, "you're going to do something about that" (meaning my weight) and I concurred.  I don't know what it was about the early 80's, but I don't remember working out as something people did or talked about.  We had a friend who went for runs occasionally and over smokes and pots of coffee we thought she was amazing.  Listen, I don't know how a girl could stay trim eating a buffet with all girls 24/7; that's just not even reasonable.

When I got married I weighed 145lbs.  Lucky for my husband, I still fit into my wedding dress.  Late 20's early 30's I started running, biking and picked up tennis again.  I had a normal first pregnancy, but ballooned to over 200lbs when I gave birth to twin boys in 1997.  That was uncomfortable to be sure; but understandable.  I remember telling the nurse when she weighed me; "if you say that number out loud I will have to kill you".   I recently told someone my story of how I ended up at a "Moms with Twins" club meeting.  The only reason I went was because the boys were probably about 12 weeks old and I looked amazing.  Really, the weight had miraculously dropped off and I felt good; hated the meeting; never went back; different story for different day.

Anyway, the kids childhood years weight wise were definitely up and down times; sometimes exercise could be had and sometimes it couldn't; I dealt with it.  Sometimes I said no to finishing off the plates of mac and cheese and sometimes the temptation was too much to stand.  There was definitely lots of wine, lots of shared dinners to make the nights with little kids enjoyable and lots of reason to eat cake; so I did and don't regret it.

And now they are all teenagers and there is a lot more me time; and I'm all about taking care of me.  I wiped a lot of poopy butts to get where I am.  So yes, I know I'm not heavy.  Yes, I could still fit into my wedding dress.  Frequently someone says, "you look the same as always, I've never noticed you looking any different".  Lucky for me I carry it well.  But I know the truth; it's black and white; it goes up and down.  The trick is to catch the up before it gets too out of control.  It's a battle I'm going to win - join me.

Namaste

At the end of yoga class, we often acknowledge our teacher and each other with an ancient salutation: Namaste. The divine light in me honors the divine light in you.

My daughter is 15 today.  She celebrated last night with 5 dear friends enjoying dinner and endless hours of WII Just Dance.  They were happy and drama free and I hope they appreciate how when life is simple and you're with people who make you feel loved it is joyful.  I really think they get it.

Now, my girl is not going to be a Superstar in anything measurable by today's High School parents standards.  She goes to a school of over 2000 high achieving kids.  To make a team, you better have perfected your skills since you were a wee one or you don't stand a chance.  I know, I know - there's Cross Country (a no cut sport) that she could participate in.  I'm not one to make excuses for my kids but have you seen my girls feet?  To quote her podiatrist father (who should know), "those paws were not made for running".   Trust me when I tell you, I have tried a lot of different things to no avail - until recently when we fell into yoga together. 

So what she may lack in a particular athletic skill she makes up for in personality and if she applies herself she is academically bright.  She has a light in her that you can't teach, buy, or coerce; it's just there.  When she walks in a room and smiles; she makes everyone smile.  She is a kind friend, daughter and granddaughter.  She listens.  She laughs.  She lives.  Namaste Francine...

Get Rid of Your Nemeses!

So as I continue to blog you will most likely come to learn to love my family and all the great things they add to my life.  My dad Bob; aka (secretly) "Archie"; (yes, as in Archie Bunker) has a lot of one liners that stick in your head and add weird value (or not) at just the right moment sometimes.  Take today; one of "Archie's" favorites to throw out has always been, "Fail to plan, plan to fail".  Now I know he stole this, but I always picture it coming out of his mouth.  The point is hopefully you are thinking about being stocked with healthy choices so when tomorrow rolls around you're not left starving thinking that you would eat anything including the kitchen sink.  I do know that Rice Krispies are not a great cereal choice; but they have been left in my cabinet for awhile waiting for me to make Rice Krispy Treats.  Even though I'm relatively young, I did grow up with the "finish your plate, think of the starving children in India" scenario and therefore it kills me to throw anything away.  I can't even think of how many plates of children's mac and cheese leftovers I felt forced to throw down my gullet in hopes of not wasting food.  So I headed to the grocery store and I am armed and ready for tomorrow.   I do have probably two more days of Rice Krispies but if that's the worst thing I put in my mouth this week I'm doing well.

I'm picking one of my food nemeses to ban from the house and my diet until at least next Christmas - Lipton's French Onion Dip; one bite and I can't stop; one sniff of it and I'm swooning; just looking at the box of Lipton's Onion Soup mix makes my mouth salivate.  I know losing a few doesn't have to mean complete deprivation, but the evil that this dish serves up for me no exercise can overcome.  So just for fun think of one think that you have a total weakness for and see how long you can go without it; and I'm telling you so you can hold me accountable; there better not be dip at Bachelor this week....

5-2; Voodoo

To tennis players; this is a curse; 5-2 Voodoo.  Technically, you should feel like you're sitting pretty at 5-2 in a tennis match; but more often than not those sets can become a challenge to close out.  I think you can use this analogy for weight loss and the curse of the third person that tells you you look great and you've lost weight.  Let the party begin you think; I'm thin; yea; bring on the holidays; I can eat anything; I'm thin; I mean she thinks so and she thinks so and jeez everyone thinks so....it's the third person to tell you you've lost weight curse theory.  This theory was crystallized on an early morning run years ago with a friend and she was so right....

I have secret ways to hide the fact that I've put on a few from myself and others; i.e. yoga pants (up or down in pounds,I do think my ass looks great in them; just sayin), exercise clothes, and any form of lounge wear worn early evening (because I want to eat dinner without feeling like I might break a seam in my jeans).

So if you want to keep yourself from overeating you've got to keep putting regular pants with zipper on everyday - no exceptions.  This is my golden rule  - starting tomorrow.  I squeezed myself into jeans last night; I can't wait for them to feel a little looser.  They weren't supposed to be skinny jeans; they were supposed to be straight legs which if you're a fashionista you know there is a difference.

Two is Always Better Than One

I said I couldn't swim for years; I knew how I just didn't want to; now I am because I can, I want to and it feels great.  The secret is my swimming buddy and I believe an exercise buddy is the secret to getting started and sticking with exercise.

Back when the kids were really little, I had a friend who loved to do competitive 5k runs.  I'd say yes because I hadn't tried before and it was a legit reason to get out of the house with a girlfriend.  I can't say I loved these runs (I may not have been very prepared at the time) but the mom time was great.  Then, there was the era of having to run at 6 am before kids got up and before the husband left for work; this would never have worked without the motivation of knowing that someone else had gotten up and was waiting outside expecting you to show; rain or shine.   No one loves getting up early when everyone else is sleeping; but you can start to love the time to yourself, you can appreciate doing something positive for yourself and what woman doesn't enjoy talking, bitching, laughing with a girlfriend in the privacy of darkness; plus it's way cheaper than therapy ...

I don't need a buddy to run with anymore because I love it; but I still have buddies that schedule runs at different places or times than I would normally do and I always say yes because you never know what the new experience could bring.  My workout buddies have encouraged me to try lots of new forms of exercise lately that I would have thought I couldn't do yet I'm finding myself loving; Tracy Anderson like workouts; yoga (feels great); swimming (signed up for Triatholon in April).  I am really looking forward to getting back to some Boot Camps with Amy Banfer and crew this spring and the USTA tennis season starts this week.  Mixing it up is making exercise much more interesting and hopefully I won't over use any particular muscle group which could derail me from being active for the long haul.

So....this is it; tomorrow is a new day and you're going to start to exercise.  Find something you like and do it!  If you can't find someone to do it with then just tell someone what you are going to do.  It's amazing how when you really want to do something but there's a little inkling of doubt in your head whether you really are; if I say it outloud it is more likely to happen and you've made yourself accountable to someone else who just may ask you how it went and you want to have a good story for them of your success not some lame excuse.

First Things First...

Okay, so this is the plan starting Monday -

Step 1: I have to deprive myself of wine Sunday thru Thursday.  Why?  Well, this isn't rocket science but it does stink.  Wine goes right to my waste, wine makes me make bad eating decisions, and wine is empty calories that add up quickly and I'd rather eat. 

Step 2: Portion control - I'm going to measure my cereal, count pretzels and write down what I eat; it works every time.  It's  too embarrassing to write down that I ate 8 Fudge Stripes; really!; it works every time.

Step 3: Exercise, exercise, exercise.  Now I have been doing a lot of exercise but for some crazy reason I thought this gave me cart blanche to eat and drink anything at anytime.  News Flash: it doesn't; you can still gain weight if you take in more calories than you are burning; and this is surprisingly easy to do.

I can do it....I'm psyched....okay, a little vodka in crystal light in a pinch isn't bad, right?

Spring Training

Well, in the past 2 years I have worked very hard to get in shape.  In the process, I lost almost 30 pds.  I think I got a little cocky lately and unfortunately a few of them (pounds) have landed back on my waste.  I'm not obsessed by what I weigh, but I am currently uncomfortable in my clothes (my husband told me I looked like Monica Seles in my tennis outfit yesterday); that's not good.  I swear it all started 3 weeks ago.  Took a week off from exercise; everyone always says "'oh, that's good, your body needs a break".  Really?  At almost 48 my body can't afford a break because it then took me a whole week not to feel sore just from moderate exercise (seriously, should walking to the mall box hurt?); it took me a whole week to feel really motivated again; and the food from the week where I didn't do anything had no where to go but on me. 

So I post recipes on Facebook everyday.  Why?  cause I actually love finding new recipes and think I have a knack for knowing which ones are good.  Source is everything when it comes to a recipe; trust me on that...Starting Monday, I am going to focus on family friendly recipes that moms can modify and make healthy.  I've been to Weight Watchers twice so I am a big believer in portion control and not deprivation.  To that end get ready to measure because when you do you'll realize that you're probably eating 2 cups of cereal and not the 1/2 cup recommended serving; although I can easily talk myself into more when it comes to Rice Krispies because seriously it takes a lot of them to make you feel like you ate anything.