The Brutal Truth

So if you're joining me on my Spring Training (dropping a few lbs) today; here is the bad news; you have got to get on the scale.  Weight Watchers has worked for me in the past because you can't be in denial.  The scale deals only in black and white.  It wasn't pretty this morning; but I did it and now I know where I stand.  I'm only going to be specific in ranges because the reality is exactly what I weigh is not important; it is what's healthy and comfortable for me; and I know what that number is....

I'm 5'6 and have been relatively active my whole life.  I've weighed anywhere from 135 to 168lbs.  I weighed 130 once after a 10 mile run completely dehydrated and naked.  I don't count that as real.  I've never been considered heavy.  When I came home from my all girls Catholic college freshmen year, I could only fit into sweats at a very plump 168lbs.  My parents nicely said, "you're going to do something about that" (meaning my weight) and I concurred.  I don't know what it was about the early 80's, but I don't remember working out as something people did or talked about.  We had a friend who went for runs occasionally and over smokes and pots of coffee we thought she was amazing.  Listen, I don't know how a girl could stay trim eating a buffet with all girls 24/7; that's just not even reasonable.

When I got married I weighed 145lbs.  Lucky for my husband, I still fit into my wedding dress.  Late 20's early 30's I started running, biking and picked up tennis again.  I had a normal first pregnancy, but ballooned to over 200lbs when I gave birth to twin boys in 1997.  That was uncomfortable to be sure; but understandable.  I remember telling the nurse when she weighed me; "if you say that number out loud I will have to kill you".   I recently told someone my story of how I ended up at a "Moms with Twins" club meeting.  The only reason I went was because the boys were probably about 12 weeks old and I looked amazing.  Really, the weight had miraculously dropped off and I felt good; hated the meeting; never went back; different story for different day.

Anyway, the kids childhood years weight wise were definitely up and down times; sometimes exercise could be had and sometimes it couldn't; I dealt with it.  Sometimes I said no to finishing off the plates of mac and cheese and sometimes the temptation was too much to stand.  There was definitely lots of wine, lots of shared dinners to make the nights with little kids enjoyable and lots of reason to eat cake; so I did and don't regret it.

And now they are all teenagers and there is a lot more me time; and I'm all about taking care of me.  I wiped a lot of poopy butts to get where I am.  So yes, I know I'm not heavy.  Yes, I could still fit into my wedding dress.  Frequently someone says, "you look the same as always, I've never noticed you looking any different".  Lucky for me I carry it well.  But I know the truth; it's black and white; it goes up and down.  The trick is to catch the up before it gets too out of control.  It's a battle I'm going to win - join me.