"Fifty Shades of Grey" at Fifty

Well, this is a spicy topic and due to my current blog censorship, I may not be able to tackle with perfect honesty....(feel free to stop by 220 Benwell with a bottle of wine and we can tackle "Fifty Shades of Grey" person to person).

In case you haven't heard of "Fifty Shades of Grey", I'll give you the cliff notes according to Lysa.  Basically, it's the classic harlequin romance script, but updated.  Totally rich, gorgeous, emotional baggage ridden boy meets beautiful, crazy smart, emotionally well adjusted, virgin girl.  They fall madly in love, she fixes him, they have kinky fabulous sex, get married and have beautiful babies.  He can't gift her with enough Audi's, jewelry, expensive couture, 5 Star Getaways, and "atta girls".  They can't stand to be away from each other for more than a few hours.  And yes, I'm sure - he totally exists.  Most of my friends are married to someone very similar to him.

So "Fifty Shades of Grey" at Fifty,  hmmmmmm.  How about this?

 - A double headed shower - OMG, so hot and steamy it takes my breath away.

 - Dancing With The Stars - OMG, so much skin it's like Prime time Porn.

 - A good bottle of Chardonnay at $10 or under - OMG, I can't seem to get enough.

 - Any kind of chocolate - OMG, so rich and creamy, I can't stop licking it off my fingers. 

Join me in my continued quest for orgasmic experiences, sexual or not - okay kids, not sexual, I was just saying that to get a rise out you and your teenage friends that are weirdly reading and care about an old ladies blog - give me a break.

Desperately Seeking Spirituality

Sometimes, I'm more passionate about my search for spirituality than others.  I really fight my urge to believe in reincarnation because the alternative as I quickly approach 50 doesn't seem that great (oh, I know heaven is supposed to be fantastic, but I haven't heard any first hand reports so the jury is still out for me).  A few years ago, I knew I needed something more, so we tried a different church than what we had grown up in.  For me and my kids it works.   We could shop around more I suppose, but for right now we're comfortable at http://www.crosspointe.org/  I don't believe everyone needs something new - maybe some of us just to need to revisit what we have and reconnect.  Either way, our search for spirituality is important for our emotional health.

It's okay to church shop these days.  I remember someone saying, you can't change church just because you don't like the priest - not to put words in that person's mouth, but I bet they wouldn't say that anymore  It's important to find out what works best for you and your core family while still being respectful of other family members beliefs.  It's okay to be introspective.  You don't have to just dig your head in the sand, show up, shut up and give money.   It's not scary.  It's freeing.  Church is a personal decision and a family decision.  We have let our kids have more say in how we work as a family.  I want them to be kind, thoughtful, giving, spiritual human beings not just rule followers.  If they are not screaming, kicking and crying all the way and actually ask to go sometimes, I think we've made great improvements. 

Today is Election Day and another day off school for Wake County schools.   Our church and other churches across the United States are participating in something called Election Day Communion http://electiondaycommunion.org/join-us/

Basically, it's just about sharing time connecting as a church, agreeing that we're all in this together, joined by one force in the end.  We are supposedly, "One Nation Under God".  I can't come up with anything negative with that thought and prayer.  Join me in remembering "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" a little earlier than Christmas, but good timing nevertheless. 

PS:  To my Jewish friends - Mazel Tov!

Fabulous Fall Finds

Sorry, if you don't live in NC because my first Fall find is here.  Can you say ROADTRIP???... and get to Hillsborough, NC http://www.visithillsboroughnc.com/as fast as you can.  So pretty and some of  the yummiest eats I have had in a while.  Love Gulf Rim Cafe http://www.gulfrimcafe.com/ I am still dreaming about the Fried Artichoke Taco.  I had a hot chocolate at Matthews Chocolate and can honestly say it was the best I've ever had http://dinneranddrinks.wordpress.com/2008/01/13/matthews-chocolates-in-hillsborough-nc/  and hubby loved catching the scores and chugging a beer at The Wooden Nickel http://thewnp.com/ - I'm sure there's more, but that is all I could fit in an afternoon.

If you haven't connected with my new Tarot Card/Astrology friend Philip Young, www.blackunykorn.com - now is the time.  He is offering two free cards you can draw and take home with you if you mention you heard about him thru this blog.  Just had him over for a fun girls night and everyone enjoyed the experience.

For everyone, anywhere - check out the Lauren Conrad collection at Kohl's along with J Lo's.   There are some really cute things and with Kohl's sales and discounts good deals are easily obtained.

Loved the 2 recent New York Time's best sellers: "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn and "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed!  The ending of "Gone Girl" was disappointing (left author opportunity for sequel is my best guess) but still a good read.  "Wild" was a life changer for me - so inspiring, I could read it again.

Secret coffee recipe - aka Pat's Brew: put splash of vanilla extract in coffee pot, sprinkle cinnamon on coffee grinds - brew coffee like normal = pleasantly not over flavored just delicious cup of Joe.

Clocks back this weekend.  Join me in not forgetting and not complaining when I can't keep my eyes open after 9 PM next week.







 

What To Tell My Sons

First, you will never find anyone like your mom - but if you are lucky you will come close.

Secondly, I get rights of first refusal. 

Thirdly, you cannot live here after the age of 25; okay 30, but that is my final offer.

I love and adore you, but you confound me.  My want for you is to be successful, happy, healthy adults.  That's all I ever wanted - it's an unwavering want filled with unconditional love that I know you are going to test.

Join me in having simple wants........

Editors Note - Although, I struggle to get the boys to read anything of educational value - someone has indeed clued them into my blog.  I lost a $5 bet to one yesterday that I did not specifically mention his name. 

So Gentlemen,

Since you're reading and your friends are reading and I did tweet this - here goes.........

If you both don't get a B or better on your big World History test today there is NO STATE FAIR this weekend.  Enjoy your Wednesday fellas.

It's Ratings Time B#$%^&*

Love this video that made a huge splash recently on Facebook etc.  I don't know of a tennis lady that doesn't get a chuckle out of it.

But as we all know it's not all fun and games out on the courts or behind the scenes.  There's a little pain behind the humor.  Our club lets the members/ladies put together teams.  Some teams vote players in (soriety style), most teams are captain's choice.  Other clubs/tennis facilities put teams together for the players.  It's a lose/lose situation for the professionals.   Let's be honest, they make $ from being on every one's good side.    I beg for a solution to the madness.  Nothing good comes from middle aged recreational athletes making judgement calls about others peoples abilities.

So ratings based on your Spring USTA tennis performance come out here in NC in mid November. Literally, by mid September people are jockeying for position, "making new tennis friends", creating firestorms to see what shakes out etc. based on what they think is going to happen.  If  you don't know already, there's some boot leg way to find out what your early rating is by going in to USTA through an Atlanta Team link because they have access to "early ratings".  Now, these are not for sure ratings just early indicators. 

The usual definition of a "friend" is one whom one knows, likes and trusts.  I maintain this rarely exists on the tennis court.  I rarely play tennis for fun.  I need the competition to make it fun for me.  You have to find a group that thinks the same as you.   Losing is never fun.  Losing with friends is no different.  So I never understand the "we want to have a team of friends, that just wants to have fun together".   USTA leagues are not for fun.  They are serious competition.  If you want to play tennis for fun - call your friends or make sure you join other leagues that are supposed to be "social tennis". 

My almost 75 year old mom recently was asked to not return to her paid round robin court time at her club because according to the b%^&*& in charge, "she wasn't up to their standard of play". Really? So a lady with 2 knee replacements awaiting hip replacement surgery can't show up to play for fun? Nice - ladies, nice.  I don't want to be one of those ladies.

My own words of tennis wisdom that I love to share, "if you don't get picked for a team maybe it's because the other players don't think you are as good as you think you are".............

Which brings me to my solution.  Join me in being confident in your abilities and if you're not then maybe you need a lesson, more practice, or more play time.  Be comfortable being a free agent.  It's like that old game where you line up 2 rows of people and you see who is comfortable being picked.  I was always the picker.  It my younger years, I would never have been comfortable on the sidelines waiting to be picked.  I've changed.  I've matured.  I'm comfortable that I'll get picked.  Wait till ratings come out to form teams.  People will move down and some will move up.  Be patient - wait to be picked.  It's humbling - but worth it.  And if patience isn't your strong suit, be a captain and do the picking.  It's that easy.

Side note - USTA Fall Combo sucks.  Am I saying this because I"ve gotten my a$% kicked?  Absolutely - but......the USTA created this type of league play to foster relationships between levels and build a teaching sort of environment.  This is not reality folks.  Combo is only fun if you are under rated.   Trust me - I know - I've been there.

Thank you Dr. Obvious!

My Philly marathon is a little over 6 weeks away.  I've been training for 8 weeks and I've had a few setbacks.  There was Labor Day weekend and too many margaritas (that was fun), there was the Achilles tendinitis, and then there was a little trip to the ER for  back spasms that literally brought me to my knees.  You may think I'm a little cracked, but I'm going to keep going.

I was at my sons football game a week ago.  One of my friends who is a big workout guy says, you know everything you do is on a hard service - road running - tennis.  You should probably do more cross training, chore work and stretching.

Well, thank you Dr. Obvious!  You are correct.  I have a little workout at the gym that I love that mostly involves upper body and chore.  I've just spent a few weeks in PT for my Achilles and they emphatically said if you don't stretch more you are going to be in serious trouble.

I'm heeding all advice. I was neglecting to do the other physical things I need to do to make running possible.  Marathon training, gym time and tennis take a lot of time and although it may appear that I have endless hours to do nothing (like blogging) it's not true; I'm just a very good multi tasker.  So sorry tennis buddies, but this alpha female at the moment prefers 2 hours on the road with head phones to a tennis match.  Physically, it's too much to do both.  I'm on a tennis hiatus.  Not permanent - watch out for me in the spring.  I'm only doing 1/2's after November I promise. 

Join Me in not neglecting the most important parts of being well rounded and fit - it can't just be one thing  - (even tennis)!

What To Tell My Daughter

In the words of a very dear friend's mother, "Marriage is not reform school.  What you see is what you get".  Oh yes, wise one... those are words to pass on....

Now, don't get me wrong.  I want my daughter to experience great love, great romance, great passion and I can't say much more cause she actually enjoys snooping on my blog.  She has an adorable boyfriend and they seem to enjoy a great friendship.  See this is where adults need a secret venue to share more thoughts that can't be read by their kids; similar to the reason that kids are no longer on Facebook (due to moms like me) and all have Twitter accounts and have made secret pacts to not let parents in.  Whatever........!!!!  Listen Zuckerman - the USTA has figured out a way to do 2 adult leagues - 18 and up and 40 and up - surely you can figure out the same for Facebook?!

What I am happy to share is this.........Be confident.  Be sure of what you need to make you happy.  Don't make any compromises on your expectations ever when making any romantic commitment.   Be selfish and single as longggggggggg as you can.  Never give up a way to be independent financially (I'm not trying to beat a dead horse. but it deserves another mention). 

Marriage may become only necessary as a way to legitimize your family.  Take Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  They said they weren't going to marry unless it was legal for everyone.  Now, there's rumors they will marry.  The only reason I see this happening is because they are getting a lot of pressure from their children.  Children are the reason to marry and stay married.  I can't think of another critical reason at the moment, but I'll keep working on it.

This brings me to the stay at home mom vs working mom dilemma.  This is easy.  If  the smell of brownies in the oven don't give him a hard on, I strongly suggest keeping your day job.  If you meet a Renaissance man who adores the idea of June Cleaver - good for you.  But I think I've given you fair warning of the pitfalls of this choice.

Remember, mommy is always here for you.  Please don't ever go too far and leave me alone with all these boys - join me in my quest for you to be unencumbered for a very long time!