Partying in the Club

Editors Note - this blog in no way contains dire warnings of the state of my union - just tongue in cheek observations.

Over 40 - oh the trials and tribulations of long term committed relationships.  Over 40 and married for awhile, have a few kids, mortgage, and other financial obligations - romance can be challenging.  Life goes on, relationships change.  Some make it - some don't.  There are 4 over 40 marriage clubs.  They have revolving doors and you can find yourself in different clubs at different times.  I am not a romantic.  Marriage long term is about money.  Money is power.  Money is sexy.  Why you get in, stay, can or can't get out.  Money is why spouses kill each other.  I'm not suggesting in anyway you let it get to that point.  I did just come home from a girls weekend, so I'm full of husband bashing stories.   I heard this great line.  "If I had offed him when I first thought of it, I would be out by now".   True that sister!

The "Happily Ever After Amen Club" -  These are couples that enjoy a mutually beneficial intimate relationship, mutual compassion, mutual respect and seem to possess an understood spiritual connection.  Bills come and go, kids are a constant joy, and they enjoy spending time together.  When I'm drunk, I think this is a possibility.

The "Cheaper to Keep Her Club" -  Men think this is a secret men's club.  I feel obligated to put it out there.  You probably need to figure out if you're in this club.  The problem is some will eventually accrue enough cash to split without damaging their lifestyle and they don't have to keep you anymore.  You need to be ready.  You  need to be aware that this is a grim possibility.

"Fake It till You Make It" - My solution for sisters that find themselves in "The Cheaper to Keep Her Club".  I say, "get your shit together"!  Get happy, get fit, get your hair done, go shopping, have lots of girl friends, and enjoy life now.  At some point, the coast may clear and you can make your own break for it, and at least it will be on your terms. 

"Money Doesn't Matter Club"  - Millionaires, recipients of family money, trust fund kids, and celebrities.  They can marry, divorce, remarry again.  It doesn't matter.  Money is never the deciding issue.  They can afford to be romantic.  They're with someone new every 8-10 years.  It's easy to be full of romance and idyllic happiness if you get to perpetually trade in and go thru the newness of love over and over again..

I am definitely in the stage of life where I see a lot of marriages crumbling.  I get it, but I also know this - it's what most people want.  People want the comfort and safety of being in a commited relationship.  Just because you don't think your spouse is perfect, don't delude yourself into thinking that someone else won't.  Some people's trash is other people's treasure.  Can you imagine your spouse with someone else?  Do you want your kids to be parented by someone else?  Do you not think that 10 years down the road, you are going to have the same complaints about someone new that you have in your relationship now.  At least you have a known low.

Money may be the deciding factor of how or why a marriage ends, but I won't let it define me.  I won't let it pigeon hole me in a club.  "Easy for you to say, you don't make the money".  My response, "careful, I may not make it, but I can take it".

Join me in living a life that is about more than just money.  If you could also find me a salmonella egg salad recipe, I'll take a look.