My Opinion Versus Being "Judgemental"

This is a spicy topic, but I'm in the mood to delve in -

Definition for opinion:

A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
 

Definition for judgemental:

A value judgment is a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something, or of the usefulness of something, based on a personal view. As a generalization, a value judgment can refer to a judgment based upon a particular set of values or on a particular value system. ....
 

What Does Being Judgemental Mean?

Glad you asked...

Being judgmental means inclining to make decisions and judgments especially on moral of personal issues. It is an attitude characterised by making judgments about other people's conduct.

I have a lot of opinions.  It is one reason I started a blog.  I'm not afraid to say what I think - why should I be?  Being called "judgemental" is a negative thing and something that I don't think applies to me.  You might not like my opinion, I'm not asking you to - I don't need everyone to like everything I say or do.  Truly, I can appreciate that everyone has a life to live.  Things (crap) happens and we deal with it to the best of our abilities.  I truly believe that.  I don't think anyone sets out to make mistakes or be a crappy friend, parent, sibling etc; life happens.  I can always say how I would handle things, but unless faced with the same exact circumstances, I would only be guessing.  I have a lot of different friends from a lot of different stages in my life.  We have a lot of varying opinions on many subjects.  I find that interesting.  Making judgements about people's choices in life or their personal decisions means saying someone else's life is right or wrong.  That's where the trouble starts.  I think I'll leave that up to someone way more important than myself.  I believe people in general try to live their best life and in the end they are responsible for those decisions. 

It seems like people try to keep their opinions to themselves.  That's too bad.  Variety is the spice of life ... let it fly I say.  Don't be afraid to say what you think - and don't judge when someone is honest.  I'm going to try it -  join me.

Best "Mom Said"

Growing up in a big family, one of the most powerful phrases that you could use

to back you up was “mom said”.  Rarely did one balk at “mom said”. It was like

the “almighty and powerful oz has spoken”. I can scare myself just thinking of

that powerful moment in movie history and “mom said” worked the same in our

house.

Well, one “mom said” that I love to use now as a parent is “if you’re bored, you’re boring”. It is so true. It applies to me and my children often. If the thought runs thru my head, “I’m bored”. I can’t help but follow up with, “I must be boring”. And then I rack my brain for ways to try to

rectify the situation. There are so many productive things to do. But what’s wrong with doing nothing? Sometimes you just need to cut yourself a break. It’s a struggle for me to embrace doing nothing or at least not struggle with a little catholic guilt in not being productive or doing something

constructive.

So, I confess. I recently watched 8 straight hours of “Criminal Minds”. I curse my daughter for turning me on to this show. It is truly addictive. I recently watched the whole Season 1 of “Girls” on HBO in one sitting. This is what I consider doing nothing and certainly not productive in

anyway. I need to not feel guilty. Sadly, I wasn’t bored. I was entertained. Hell – it’s January and hopefully there’s a snow day in my future so my whole family can join me a guilt free day of doing nothing, and enjoy being bored together!

A Week of Saturdays

Our family Christmas was really, really nice.  As we were leaving Pennsylvania for the ride back to North Carolina, my mom commented that it was a "week of Saturdays".  That sums it up and I do realize that we are extremely lucky to feel that way.

The fall from a week of Saturdays is far.  I knew the week after would suck and boy this week did not disappoint.  I'm rallying though and that is why I'm writing this blog.   I'm trying to rally myself and hopefully if you need a little push you'll get it here.

If you haven't created your calendar of fun events - do it.  I have my cheap dollar store calendar on my counter and I'm hungrily filling it out.  I'm slowly marking people's visits here and our trips planned (starting to feel excited).  Then my daughter informs me that there's a 5 day weekend the 3rd weekend in January (and I feel a quick slide into complete despair).   Ugh.  I'm on a post Christmas austerity program and the boys are serious about their Town of Cary Basketball team which means I have no chance in hell of going anywhere.  I'm going to hunker in and try not to stand out as the most buzzed one in the room = good goal!

Here is where I want to address something serious.  Depression is real and serious and I'm not the person to diagnose or dispense real advise regarding it.  I can suffer from forms of it occasionally and sometimes you need help and real medication (not just a glass of wine).  You're the only person who knows the depth of your despair.  In my early 40's, I required a little extra medical attention.  I sought it out and it helped.  I knew when I didn't need it anymore.  You need to know your body and how your feeling and when it's more serious than what a workout, talk with a friend, or a lazy day in bed (mental health day) can fix.  Know when you need help and seek it.

What to do if just in a mid winter I hate January slump?  The best advice I can give myself is keep moving. At least if I do something constructive exercise wise, I feel better about everything else.  I went to the gym yesterday and it was definitely a mood elevator.  You realize life if going on all around you, you just need to join in.  January is a long ass month. I have to stop myself from thinking how much I despise January because it is one of my sisters birthdays:) only 4 weeks left.........join me in my plan to keep moving and not falling into a wintry slump!!  We can do it.

Be In The Know - What is K2?

I really try to avoid thinking that things are going to "hell in a hand basket".  We saw our fair share of drugs growing up in 70's, 80's, and 90's.  I was hoping that I knew enough that not a lot would slip by me.  Teenagers are always one step ahead.

My mother in law recently moved here from Michigan.  She came with stories of K2 and Bath Salts.  I had never heard of it at the time.  I now know that kids here are doing it.  I just want to make sure everyone knows what it is.......knowledge is power. 

K2 and "Bath Salts are bad.  Here are some links with helpful information.

http://www.livescience.com/6149-fake-weed-real-drug-k2-causing-hallucinations-teens.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_cannabis

The thing is it is legal.  I haven't investigated where you can buy it here, I'm hoping it's not something as simple as Kangaroo.

I just googled "teens killed using K2" and there were 10 incidents cited on the first page including the story by mother in law shared in the first weeks of her arrival from Michigan - http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&ved=0CFQQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wlns.com%2Fstory%2F18649257%2Fteen-killed-after-allegedly-overdosing-on-k2&ei=uYLAUJDIBIT49gSr4oDYAg&usg=AFQjCNGNL4YWOG79BFB7X_qVHLJdYI_Z3g&sig2=YiJn7fQWqSPYEHjkUdlrtA

Michigan has outlawed it, but Bath Salts/K2 is legal in most states.  Here is the most comprehensive/simple information for parents I could find http://www.drugfree.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Parents360-Synthetics-Bath-Salts-K2-Spice-Parents-Guide-FINAL-2-13-12.pdf

If you hear of kids smoking a Hookah pipe, they may be using substances like these.  Join me in not digging my head in the sand and being too scared to know the truth - ask question, talk to your kids about K2 etc.  We're in this together..........

Invoking Best "Bobism"

Today, I'm invoking what I consider one of the best "Bobism's" that I know - "Fail to plan, plan to fail".  I had a friend share their secret for executing a fun, healthy year.  Every January, they have a special day where they get out their calendar and plan on fun "healthy" events to train for - travel to - and maybe even plan vacations around.  It's the perfect execution of the my previously mentioned "Bobism".

I pulled out my calendar early, so I can share some fun things going around in the Triangle and other places so you can start your wheels turning.

This is my plan -

Last event of 2012 - Love Girls on the Run organization.  Their philosophy is
"inspiring girls to be joyful, healthy, and confident!"  They have a 5K Reindeer Run December 15 - My daughter and I have signed up for it - go to http://www.gotrtriangle.org/events/registration-now-open-sports-endeavors-reindeer-romp-gotr-end-fall-season-5k 

Spring - yes, play more tennis.  I promise.  I am committed to 4 teams and when I'm say I'm committed - I mean it.  Yes, I've been on a hiatus but it's like riding a bike for me.  I learned early.  Just give me a few good practices and things will be back on track.  I've already spoken to my favorite fitness trainer, Amy Banfer, and am coming up with good training plan to avoid injury.

Right, I'm not going to run a marathon this spring - I'm going to run a half http://runrocknroll.competitor.com/new-orleans/event-details - so fun.  I'm organizing couples to go to New Orleans for pre Mardi Gras/fitness fun weekend. 

Join me for the first Dirty Girl event in Raleigh - http://www.godirtygirl.com/event-schedule/?gclid=CKX_m-uig7QCFQf0nAodRC4APA - my team is "Ivy Cottage Dirty Girls".  We are in Wave 13 (11 am) and we are raising awareness for MS.  This is going to be a blast!!

This local event is not a good weekend for me, but I've heard great things about it - http://tobaccoroadmarathon.com/!!

I may try to coerce my kids into a Stylski Team for this mini Tri - http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/discussion/directory/link-detail.asp?linkid=1943

I love this site -
http://www.active.com/ - great place to start to find events - not just running.

I'm taking the summer easy and then will start training for the Philly Marathon 2013
http://www.philadelphiamarathon.com/

Wow, I'm excited.  Join me in making 2013 a great healthy year!  Find your passion - make it happen.

Christmas Mania

Oh "Christmas Mania", why did you come early this year?  and why haven't I grown out of you?  A girlfriend of mine identified my season of "Christmas Mania" about 10 years ago.  Usually around  the start of December, I suffer from insomnia and weirdly don't seem tired.  Come January, I will go into hibernation and it will take me a week of 10 hour nights and possibly some naps to recover.  I get you Mrs. Santa - I get you.

My hearts racing and I can't stop the excited feeling in my body.  I can't sleep and I happy to report I actually lose my appetite..  I can't stop making lists in my head.  I can't stop planning, decorating, shopping, .......thinking about what I'm going to eat, what I'm going to wear, what should my kids wear, should I give the mailman money, should I give the yard guys money, how much, do I really have to give the trash guys money?  should I wrap?  Oh wow, they wrap for free.  Should I stay or should I go.  When should we leave?  When should we come back?  Will my kids be happy?  Do I suck as Santa?  If you get something on sale, should you spend more $ or be happy for the deal? 

.....OMG....Stop the Madness.  I wish I could - I can't.  Maybe I don't want it to.  We all get geeked up about something.  Christmas for my family has always been a big deal.  It's a lot of pomp and circumstance and I love every second of it.  It's a celebration.  I want to get lost in the small moments of joy and never let go of them.  Join me in celebrating something.  Find something to celebrate.  Life should be a celebration.  Make it one. 

Am I More Than a Phrase

Call me a geek, but I am easily inspired by a simple phrase.  Nike's iconic, "Just Do It" may be my favorite.  It just works.

Maybe I grew up in the era of phrases.  I feel like my parents used a lot that have stuck in my head.  I use some and sometimes I laugh because my kids are like what does that mean.  Truth is I don't always know, but sometimes they just fit the situation.

We should all use my dad's phrases regarding his philosophy on school,  "Your lack of planning does not create a crisis for me",  "Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail", and "Fail now, avoid the June rush".  As my husband was helping one of our 9th graders study for a World History test at 11 pm last night, I really thought he should invoke one of these "Bobisms" (yes, that's you dad). 

Then there's the "practice makes perfect" - so annoying when it came to a musical instrument, but in the end solid advice.

"Clean as a whistle" - how I felt after this weeks colonoscopy.  If you haven't gone and you're over 50, you should.  If you live in my neck of the words, call Dr. Vallabh -919-854-2500.  Get it in before the end of the year - easy way to drop of few before the holidays.

"Colder than a well digger's ass",  and "Colder than a Witches tit", probably political incorrect but when it's cold, I can't help myself.  Since I don't know any "well diggers or witches" I feel like I'm in the clear.

"The freshmen 15" - I wish.  It was more like 28.

Yes, I completed by second marathon in my 50th year. They were both awesome. I would liken a marathon to child birth. It's hideous when you're doing it but when it's over the reward was worth the pain. Things were pretty cool until miles 21 and over.  I literally growned out loud between the 21st and 24th miles. I tried desperately to make a friend. My music sucked and I didn't have the wear with all to change it. I considered a four legged crawl.   None of these crisis techniques worked for me. In the end, "Just Do It" was the best motivation of all. 

I don't know what phrases are in or cool these days, so join me in trying to figure out how to "hashtag this"!