Hail to the Chief

Jean Stylski passed away yesterday at the age of 72 from Stage 4 Lung Cancer that had spread to her bones.  She was officially diagnosed on 12/2/2014.  I would guess she knew for awhile she was sick.  She passed fast.  I think that is a blessing for all.  She didn't suffer long.

It has been the best of times and for sure the worst the past few weeks.  Thankfully, we have a family to lean on and friends that check in.  Her daughter Anne Marie and her brother Jerry have been with us since she entered the hospital.  It has felt like ground hog day, but we have shared a lot of laughs, meals and hugs in our communal living space as we waited for the end.

Jean, my mother in law has lived with us for the past 3 years.  The kids say 5 because for those 2 years before the 3 she would be with us for at least 2 mos out of the year.  She would tell you it was perfect.  It wasn't.  She would tell you we got along great - we did, but she drove me (all of us) crazy.  But in the end it comes down to this.  She loved me, her son, her daughter, my children and her other grandchildren Sam and Joey more than she loved herself.  I don't know that you can say that about many people in today's world.

Patrick, my son asked me yesterday what qualities I loved most about Nana.  I would say that it was her ability to love others before herself.  I don't know that I believe that is necessarily the best for everyone, but it is what worked for her.

Join me in celebrating Jean Stylski.  Have a hamburger and french fries.  Read a book.  Call your loved ones.  Boss somebody around.  Sit on a park bench.  Enjoy a cup of coffee.  Watch basketball.  Go to a rummage sale.  And for God's sake, quit smoking.  In case you haven't heard before, it will kill you.

Life is a Marathon not a Sprint

I like to refer to Funday Sunday of our girls weekend every summer as a marathon not a sprint, but then realized it really just applies to life and not necessarily just pacing yourself on a 13 hour drink a thon.  I know sometimes it feels like life goes by fast, but this time of year when you reflect on the previous 11 mos - I don't know about you but it definitely feels more like a marathon.

Monday, December 1 - I start a new journey with Tableau, a data visualization company headquartered in Seatlle and Austin.  I wouldn't have this tremendous opportunity without the belief of an amazing champion. I have sold ice cream, Amway, Aluminum siding, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Television Advertising, Germicides/Wound dressings and CMO Club memberships - somehow I'll figure out Data - and as my friend Aaron says, "Lysa will do great - she'll fake it till she makes it".  True that Aaron.

When I thought about how lucky I am to be in the position I am right now, I feel extremely blessed to have had some many champions in my work life that I am also connected to via Facebook a.k.a  @Robin Rheiner - the power of proof reading @Meredith Naples Berkowitz - never let them see you cry and the benefits of being a proficient pencil sharpener  @Duane Lammers - let me know on air was not an option; sales was my destiny @Megan Burns - big hearted sister who opened the door for me and was very patient @Brian Williams - I won't let you down ---- a big thank you to all of you.

So here's to new beginnings and soon a new year.  It is never too late to start something new, learn new things and make new friends.  Someone recently said, "why do you want to do this"?  My thought is more like why wouldn't I.  I am so excited for my children to see me do something other than make their life easy. In the past 2 weeks, the boys have learned to do wash - you're welcome future Mrs. Stylski's.  They are quite capable of making their lunches and setting their alarms.  I actually feel like I'm possibly doing them a huge favor.  As for my daughter, well sometimes you learn from good role models and my mom is one of the best.  She just informed me that she restarted her career at the age I am now.  To my daughter Francine - be who you want and don't feel like any decision is permanent.  Change is always possible if you are open to it. Join me in making the changes in your life that are going to make it feel like the best marathon you ever ran.........

Ahhhh, The Right Spot

Life is so interesting and I am continuously musing at our ever changing needs and wants with change in age.  I had a recent revelation regarding the different stages in life.  Here it is... we at some point sought the "G" spot.  We laughed with our lover at trying to avoid the "wet spot".   In my newest stage of life, I desperataly throw my leg around at night in need of a "cold spot".  Those cold spots are so sweet and rewarding - I have no comment regarding the other.....

Attempting to avoid constant 5 pm trips into a bottle of Chardonnay, I have designated yoga as my new "Happy Hour".   Lots of great options in Cary and elsewhere, but if you haven't tried "hot" yoga try https://www.fireflyhotyogacary.com/ and if you are looking for some yoga with meditation, I love http://www.republicofyoga.com/ - to feel like a teenager add riding your bike there!

Teenagers continue to challenge me.   They act like my blog keeps them in check, because whatever they do I'm going to write it.  I love the recent answer to this question.  "When was the last time you were high?" Teenager, "the last time you caught me."  Now, that is quick thinking.  Thanks to a member of the family in the medical profession, we have a case of professional grade drug tests and a breathalyzer within arms reach.  Party on Garth - but be prepared to pee in the cup.  We added a driver recently.  He is currently shopping for cars determined to trade in the 1997 Honda Civic for a much cooler Jeep Cherokee.  I tried showing him pictures of my first car - a chartreuse Chevrolet Maverick.  He is not impressed.  Sad fact.  Remember all the senior awards for Best Smile, Class Clown, Most Likely to Succeed.  Well, at our High School there is an award for Coolest Car.  Nice that mommy and daddy can buy you cool, but news flash, cool doesn't buy you a personality or much else in my opinion. 

This summer, I have created my own bucket list.  I want to bike ride the entire American Tobacco Trail and the other is a naughty "Girls Night Out" where we discover a new "Hot Spot" - if you haven't ever gone - you should -   http://www.adameverdu.com/.  So fun with a bunch of ladies with dinner and drinks after.  Here's another list (a little more G rated) for our area - https://www.get-offline.com/raleigh/summer-bucket-list?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Click&utm_campaign=WeekendRecommendations&utm_term=6%2F26&utm_content=Durham

Join me in making this a great summer, full of challenges, change and finding the "Right Spot".

#holyhotflashes

I'm not going to lament long on hot flashes and menopause because it seems really "ugh" - but #holyhotflashes doesn't begin to describe my nighttime sweatarama.  I keep thinking of the song by the band Perry - "If I Die Young" and want to substitute "lay me down in an igloo" for "lay me down in a bed of roses".   I dream of someone bringing me some ice packs and he kinda looks like this - I haven't had a crush since Patrick Rafter, US Open winner 1992, but hello Clint Eastwood's model son - I am an admirer for sure!

 

I'm a big believer in, " if you don't have something to say - don't say it" so I've been kinda quiet for awhile.  I'm now thinking that you may be able to relate to what I'm experiencing.  I've also been thinking about the month of January and how much I think the month sucks and then I feel really bad because it's actually the month of one of my sister's bdays.  But it's okay, she totally feels the same about the month in general and she's already taken the advice I'm soon to dispense here.  I had an epiphany while on a brief run yesterday.  I say brief because due to the calories taken in, it should have been more extensive, but oh well.  Hollywood is so smart to have all these awards shows in January.  I'm sure it's for the viewing public and we wouldn't watch anything so boring if it wasn't January.  But what a great incentive to not give into the cold and bleakness of January (lucky West Coasters here) - they've got a party to go to and need to put on a form fitting dress.  This is where I can't help but give some sage advice.  Join me in getting out there.  Party like you are a star.  Have people over.  Put on something form fitting.  Nobody can put baby in the corner.  Try something new.  Make new friends.  Make a Lifeboard - Plan for 2014 and make it happen.  Thanks for joining me - it's not fun to be alone.

Sideways

 

I love the expression, "going sideways".  My friend and I use it a lot in conversation in reference to social situations when it appears that people have had too much to drink (could lead to literal definition of sideways) or when people's behavior seems odd and we're expecting something not normal to happen.   One of my sisters was interested in our obsession with the term, "going sideways".  It appears upon closer review, I have had a long love of the word Sideways.

I love the movie "Sideway's" -

I love this song "Sideways" by Citizen Cope



I love to sleep "sideways" -

I'm assuming the boys wouldn't have made it this far in my Blog so now to my favorite use of the term - "going sideways" - My top 10 signs that things are about to "go sideways" - in relevance to teenagers of course.  Not all from personal experience - some heresay included....

Boys having slumber parties - it's weird; they may be playing GTA late night, but most likely they are planning on partying somehow...

The first signs of pubic hair; applies to either sex - just sayin.....8th grade or the age of 13

Boys with back packs - check 'em; I'm pretty sure they are not keeping a spare toothbrush packed just in case they get invited to sleep over :)

Bonfires - real definition; now we can drink outside so my parents can't see and bonus extra people can stop by and my parents won't know

A house with no alarm system

Adult parties piggy backed with kid parties i.e. the adults will be drunk and not know what's going on

Offering to pay your sister to take you to a party - $10 pp

Your liquor taste like water

The purchase of a Country Music Pass for the summer -

Txts with pics of your dog and how to subdue her -

 

 

Now not all saints become sinners.............

 

 

In the words of my newest celebrity acquaintance, Paula Abdul -
 "Straight up, now tell me
Do you really wanna love me forever
Oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up, now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together
Oh, oh, oh
Or are you just havin' fun?"

 

 

 

So "going sideways" or "Straight Up" - Life is good and sideways is normal.  Join me in my love of teenagers, my never ending search to one up Nancy Drew, and to never stop appreciating these moments for what they are - teaching lessons that will hopefully create productive adults that can pay their own bills - now that is Straight Up!!

 

 

Temporary Gag Order

After just coming off a fall summit for Chief Marketing Officers that involved a lot of talk of Social Media, I've been giving the challenges of TMI (too much information) a lot of thought.  I started writing my blog because I love to share the trials and tribulations of my life with teenagers and felt like there was a sort of unspoken partnership of teenage parents out there.  The more I share the more I am sure that people love to hear my tribulations, but don't necessarily think they share in my trials.  This is where I promise you are wrong.

Twitter for teenagers is a place to hang out where parents aren't - if you haven't checked out your kids "Twitter" - you need to and stalk their friends too while you are it.  If you haven't checked it because you think they need privacy until they show you a reason to not trust them - the reason to not trust them is on their Twitter feed.  I have seen pictures of bongs, drunk girls, and inappropriate exposure of body parts.  It is almost a full time job.  I quit stalking them on Twitter recently because it is very time consuming (boys note - I could still access if I wanted to:) - .  I have seen enough to know that what's there is nothing good.  Same goes for "Vine", "Instagram", "Snapshot"  all = teenage trash.

Teenagers see the moment in front of them.  They have no concept of consequences that could cause them serious pain or future demise.  Taking away privileges, grounding etc make me feel like I'm parenting, but I have found a way to make it really hurt for them.  For every future naughty incident, the priviledge of driving (and it is a priviledge not a right) gets delayed 30 days.  This should also save me $5k in auto insurance for the unforeseeable future.

Privacy is an interesting concept these days.  I am going to respect my children's privacy at the moment and not share their current status of naughtiness.  But there is no part of their life that I am not going to insert myself.  I demanded a phone recently and asked for code to be put in so I could view what was going on immediately.  Yea, there was a little smoke that made me take this step (or as my friend and I like to equate it to as "terrorist chatter"), but again what you see will really open your eyes.  When my peeps pay for their stuff - they own it, until then - it's mine and my job to check what they are doing with the serious intention of saving them from themselves and I promise I am not being over dramatic.  What happened to the theory that you shouldn't post something that an employer would want to see - that applied to Facebook after it was out for a bit, but doesn't seem to have made the leap over in the many other ways to share these days. 

Oh boy, the joys of social media for me.  I love Facebook as do probably most women over 40.  It is such an easy way to feel connected and in touch with friends that have spanned the decades with me.  I loved my trip to LA, sharing pics of celebrities, and finally the purchase of my new bike.  If you feel like I overshared you can choice to not receive my feeds = perfect!  Join me in enjoying technology, but not being afraid to dig in and face life's truths.  It takes a village.........

Dangerous Absolutes

July was a great month of relaxation with friends and family at the beach in Delaware.  My sisters and I worked hard in advance to prepare for daily wear of bathing suits attempting new "life/nutrition" regimes started in May aka "JJ Virgin".  We had fun with the comradeship and the discussions of the pro's and con's of no gluten, no dairy, no sugar or sugar substitute, no peanuts, no soy, and no eggs.  The results were great and I definitely felt really healthy.  Dieting girl absolute - once the 3rd person says, "you look great - you've lost weight", your diet is shot to hell.  I promise.  It's a dieting hex.  Here's another absolute - it was hard, but not impossible to follow the diet on vacation if you pretend booze doesn't have sugar in it.  And then, once I dipped my toes into a lobster roll and didn't say, "hold the roll", I fell down the laundry shoot hard and fast and have not been able to get back on the "JJ regime" yet.  I need to.  I'm about to grow out of all my skinny clothes and that will suck.

Upon return to normal life, I found myself knee deep in being the "most strictest parent in the neighborhood".  Vacation felt oh so far away.  When it comes to parenting teenagers, this is where I swear, I have no "absolutes".   My neighbor whose kids are all out of high school has always warned me against being judgemental when it comes to teenage behavior.  I have taken that advice seriously.  What is going to happen next, I'm absolutely sure I don't know.  I am absolutely sure my teenagers are going to screw up.  I pray it isn't life threatening or cause bodily harm to someone else.  My senior appears saintly.  We will see.  She just may be very crafty.  My twin boys are sophomores and as my dad predicted not that long ago are much bigger and stronger than me.  Here's an absolute - they are not smarter than me.  Pools are not open after dark in any neighborhood and if you don't live there you aren't a welcome guest.  Keep trying fellas. 

As we settle into August, lots of activities keep everyone relatively busy and therefore in general out of trouble.  So looking forward to football games and other fall festivities.  So looking forward to more family time/visits, weekends with friends, and trying to capture moments and firmly plant them in my memory bank.  Just this morning, I walked around looking in purses and on numerous tables and in drawers looking for my reading glasses.  I passed myself in a mirror and realized they were firmly planted on my head.  I am absolutely freakin old and the short term memory stinks.  All I may have left is my long term memory and the ability to fake the rest.

Last night, as I hopefully slid down the laundry shoot of gluten and dairy for the last time in a while, and after a week of trying the new dipped cone at McDonalds and a taste of the new "pretzel bacon cheeseburger" from Wendy's, I decided to try an indoor s'more.  Just for the record, if you put marshmellows on a graham cracker for 30 secs in the microwave and then put Hershey bar on top w/graham cracker to hold it all together = yum and yum.  Who needs a campfire anyway!!!

Join me in enjoying life, embracing changes in regimes, appreciating life's small moments and knowing when to hold up and fold up.  JJ here I come - absolutely for today!